Deadly Sassy

China is well on its way in the march toward modernization and... increased fashion consciousness?

During the ten year anniversary celebration of Hong Kong reverting to Chinese rule this week, China officially unveiled snappy new uniforms for the People's Liberation Army (PLA), the largest standing military force in the world (2.3 million members strong). If you've ever been to China, or if you've seen pictures taken around crowded areas like Tiananmen Square, you've no doubt seen scores of soldiers clad in loose-fitting olive green uniforms. Apparently, the old uniforms only came in one size and one style--ill-fitting and ugly. But, those days are now gone, because Dog forbid a Chinese soldier ever look dowdy on the battle field!

Amidst growing domestic and international concern over food and medicine safety, slave labor, and pollution, the Chinese government has shown where its true priorities lie by spending millions of dollars to reinvent and refashion the aesthetic appeal of their military. The new uniforms will be color-coordinated, tighter fitting, and will be all around more sexy. Nothing strikes more fear in the heart of enemies than sexy soldiers, right?

In discussing the new duds, a government spokesman noted that the female uniform has been refashioned to look, and I quote, "sassier." This translates into tighter waistlines and, by far my favorite revision, higher heels. Yes, that's right, not only are female soldiers expected to perform their duties in heels, but those heels will now be 5 centimeters high. (For those of you who are metric-scale-challenged, that converts into about 2 inches.) After all, if you're going to be kicking ass, you might as well be doing so in high heels. Everyone knows that the best fighters in the world are supermodels and fashionistas.



<----A newly enlisted PLA recruit

Lost in a Mysterious Bamboo Forest...

Deep in the heart of China, a young and dashing American (yours truly), along with his beautiful Chinese girlfriend (Dai Li), find themselves lost in a mysterious bamboo forest in Yi Yang, Hunan. Luckily, someone sent our intrepid explorers a text message, guiding them back to civilization...

A few months ago, Dai Li and I took a day-trip a few hours outside of Changsha to explore a bamboo forest in a small town called Yi Yang. Upon reaching the edge of the forest we wandered for maybe ten minutes before we found ourselves lost deep amongst the bamboo, engulfed in shadows, and surrounded by the whispers of ancient China. There was bamboo in every direction, as far as the eye could see. Stalks as thick as my legs shot up hundreds of feet in the air. A faint smell of dew, and the nearly inaudible sound of beetles and spiders scurrying amongst the thin leaves, toyed playfully with our senses. This is the China I had always envisioned while living in the states. It was stunning. Yet sadly, there were no kung fu battles or rampaging pandas in this forest. I guess you can't win them all...

China and the "Black Man" (Pt. 2)

I've been receiving a lot of hits and feedback on my "China and the Black Man" post, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to better explain some things I said and to point out some new things as well. (For those of you who didn't read the original post, I talked about a popular toothpaste in China that was originally named "Darkie" and whose logo looks like a man in black face. China, I reasoned, needs to be more racially aware and sensitive, especially as it opens to the world and prepares for the Olympics. In any case, I recommend you read the first post it if you haven't already.)

Firstly, I should clarify that during my first few months in China, when I heard the word "niga" being spoken in Mandarin, the reason I was shocked was due to my own cultural and linguistic ignorance and also because of my connection to a country in which a similar sounding word, "nigger", is a a hateful and racist term. The fact that a completely innocuous word in a foreign language could cause such a reaction in me, especially when I didn't have any idea what the word meant, only proves how deeply ingrained issues of race are in the American consciousness. This misperception on my part says absolutely nothing about Chinese people, the Mandarin language, or about China as a whole.

A Chinese person commented on my original post that the term 黑鬼 (hei gui, literally "black devil") is the Mandarin equivalent of the English word "nigger". This is wrong, and actually, it couldn't be further from the truth. The phrase hei gui in Mandarin essentially means a bad, corrupt, or evil black person. While this certainly isn't a nice thing to call someone, it also doesn't carry any racist undertones. The Chinese have had very little contact with black people during their country's long history and thusly, they don't have many stereotypes or prejudices that are black specific. If you ask a modern day Chinese person to candidly tell you what they think of black people they'll probably say the following, "They all come from Africa and they all play basketball well." Not exactly PC or informed, but hardly bigoted.

Additionally, the term hei gui isn't reserved for black people alone and is sometimes used to describe bad people of different ethnicities. My Chinese teacher, Huang Laoshi, describes the ticket scalpers who lurk around train stations as hei gui even though they are in fact Chinese. The term hei gui is also interchangeable with the phrase hei xin, meaning black heart, which is similarly devoid of racial underpinnings. The person who commented on my original post went on to list some country specific insults like 俄国老毛子, meaning a Russian devil . He noted that these terms, including hei gui, are often said lightly, and, I assume, without hate. In fact, he called these terms nicknames.

The only Mandarin phrase I know of that is hateful and racist the way in which the N-word is, is the final term the commenter listed, 日本鬼子, meaning a Japanese devil. In fact, the commenter said that this phrase isn't a nickname, although he didn't elaborate further. There is a lot of anti-Japanese sentiment in China (which I will discuss later), and with this sentiment comes deep seated hatred that in some ways parallels racial tensions in America. Yet, to assume that a term like hei gui has a similar meaning to the word "nigger", is to make a big leap. In some ways, making this assumption is choosing a willful ignorance that permits or justifies the usage of American-bred racist jargon and imagery without understanding the real implications of doing so. After all, it's just a nickname, right?

There is no equivalent or synonymous word in Mandarin that means anything close to what the word "nigger" implies in English. There simply couldn't be. China was never involved in the African slave trade, and the Chinese never enslaved, debased, or dehumanized Africans on their soil. And therefor, the Mandarin language doesn't have any word that carries the hatred toward blacks that is contained within the N-word. In English, the word "nigger" doesn't simply mean a bad black person, instead, the word carries with it the loaded connotations and history of a land embroiled in the systemic subjugation and degradation of an entire people. It is a word that was created on the broken backs and shattered hearts of a people torn from their homes; a word that devalues another human as property to be owned and used; a word that says that those with darker skin are inherently lessor and without souls. It is a word that carries with it the tears, losses and victories of the civil rights movement in America. It is a word that, to this day in America, has the power to cause hurt and suffering greater than any knife can inflict. The legacy and usage of the N-word is entirely America's burden to bear and there is no single word in Mandarin that means anything similar.

If nothing else, my original post was a plea for Chinese people to try to be more sensitive toward racial differences and to look outside their own experiences and history to understand why the usage of racist iconography for product marketing like Darlie toothpaste is wrong and immoral. I wouldn't expect any Chinese person offhand to know why the term "darkie" or an image of a man in black face are so demeaning. But, I have a huge problem with any company or person who would willingly co-opt racist imagery from another country without first doing a little research to understand the history and potential impact of said imagery. One, that's a terrible business practice and is bound to cause a public relations blowout at some point, and two, it's a plainly immoral and irresponsible way to market a product. If you're going to borrow imagery from another country or culture, you should understand exactly what that imagery means. The makers of Darkie toothpaste apparently, and hopefully, didn't do that research and they ended up using a stereotyped and racist image and term for their product.

The name Darkie toothpaste was changed to "Darlie Toothpaste" in 1985 after the company was bought out by Colgate-Palmolive in 1985, and the incredibly offensive image on the package was downgraded to a less jarring image. However, to this day the image on the front of Darlie toothpaste appears to be Al Jolson in black face, and that is plainly inexcusable.

To help put this into perspective, imagine for a moment that an American company journeyed to Japan and borrowed a grossly stereotyped and offensive image of a Chinese woman (I don't actually know whether or not such imagery exists) and used this image on a product sold in America called "Comfort Women Panties." [A quick history lesson for those who don't know: During WWII, the Japanese invaded mainland China and forced thousands of Chinese women into prostitution to keep their troops happy as they tore through the land. Many of these women were mere teenagers when they were abducted, and they were treated like animals by the Japanese. They were repeatedly raped and gang-raped, tortured, and often killed after their bodies were wrecked by such abuses. Many of the Chinese women who survived this torture became sterile. The Japanese called these Chinese sex slaves their "comfort women."]

Trying to imagine the immoral usage of the term "comfort women" along with a racist image of a Chinese woman to market a product in America exposes just why Darlie toothpaste is so offensive. Chinese-Americans and Asian-Americans would never allow such a product to remain on the shelves, as well they shouldn't. The immorality wouldn't be lessoned if the company took a play from the Darlie handbook and changed the product name to "Comfortable Women Panties" but retained the racist image. It would still be inexcusable, racist, and a blight on American society. This is the closest parallel I can think of to compare Darlie toothpaste in China to a similar product in the west.

All I'm asking is for people, whether Chinese, American, black or white, to look outside of their own sphere and try to understand and empathize with others. This isn't being overly sensitive; it's being human and caring about your fellow man. Whether or not you can personally understand why an image or word has the power to harm, you should at least try to understand the pain and suffering it causes another. Is it really right to sell a product on the blood and tears of a people unlike yourself? I hope the answer for everyone is a resounding no.

The Web Behind Bars: Attack of the Censors! (Pt.2)

You can now add Flickr to the growing list of websites that China has blocked in the past few weeks. Actually, I can access the Flickr website itself, but I can't see any photos (which makes the website pointless) because the server that hosts photos is what has been blocked. Photographers are a rowdy bunch, and my fellow photo enthusiasts who live in China and use Flickr are furious about the block.

Fortunately for us, an industrious Iranian photographer, who found himself blocked from Flickr in his home country, designed an awesome Firefox extension that seamlessly shatters any block on Flickr images. It works like a charm and I can once again browse and post photos! This all further proves my point that trying to restrict information on the web is a futile exercise.

As a teacher, the most frustrating thing for me about internet censorship in China is that it often prevents me from accessing teaching materials for my students. This week I was blocked from downloading pictures of American teenagers for a lesson on American high school customs and slang. The Communist party claims that they want to open China to the world in preparation for the Olympics and for the country's further economic development. And, to this end, every year thousands of foreigners journey to China to teach English and to share their knowledge and culture with eager Chinese students. Yet, the government doesn't acknowledge that opening yourself to the world and learning from other cultures, necessarily requires a free and uninhibited exchange of information. You can't learn much from others if you don't believe in intellectual freedom and allowing access to information. The communist party has taken an intractable position here by saying, "We want our country to learn from the world and to improve. But, you can only learn what we deem permissible." How, I ask, is that learning at all?

If you're wondering whether or not a specific website is being blocked by the government in China you can check out the awesome website www.greatfirewallofchina.org/, which, appropriately enough, is itself being blocked in China. And yes, for those of you wondering, my blog is still blocked in China... I'm honored?

I leave you with this excellent picture taken by my friend, and fellow volunteer teacher, Lance. I feel it pretty accurately expresses the political and intellectual climate in China at present.

Attack of the Censors!

Sorry again for the time it's been since I last posted an entry, but, this time, I'm not totally to blame. The powers that be in China--most likely some Communist party lapdog who can hardly speak English, is greatly overpaid and has no idea what he is doing-- have once again decided to restrict access to my blog. I wish I could tell you why they've done this, but honestly I have no idea. I haven't posted anything recently that is even remotely controversial. But, trying to figure out the logic of the Communist party in matters of what speech they ban is tantamount to trying to decipher why people care about Paris Hilton. It simply makes no sense.

The Chinese government has a constant internet block of Wikepedia and and BBC news. Meanwhile, the NYtimes, which routinely feature stories critical of the Chinese government, has never been blocked while I've lived here. My friend Vivienne in Shanghai was recently infuriated when her LiveJournal blog was blocked. I certainly feel her pain. The great thing about the internet though, is that there is simply no way to block all access to any site or information without completely restricting access to the web. If people want to know something, and or access a site, they will find a way. There is always a backdoor, and with a little digging and internet sleuthing it isn't so difficult to circumnavigate a block. After all, I am posting right now to my "blocked" blog. Of course, I'm also crossing my fingers that I'll continue to find ways to do so.

And, on that note, I'll leave you with some promised pictures of the week. I shot the following pictures at a flower market during my recent trip to Hong Kong about a month ago. Enjoy!

Photos of the Week: Land of the Rising Sun

A quick thanks to my friends Joe and Emily for giving me the idea to post a "Photos of the week" blog. I'll try to add some new pics every weekend or so.

And, on that note, I finally finished posting the photos I took during my trip to Japan in February on my Flickr page. I know that I still owe you some blog postings about my trip to Japan (specifically, the differences I observed between Japan and China), so I'll try to work on those soon (don't hold your breathe). In the meantime, you'll just have to stand by and enjoy these pictures. As a preview, some of my favorite Japan photos are below. Enjoy!


I visited my college friend Brooke in a seaside city called Hamamatsu where she is teaching English with the JET program. I followed her to school one day to check out what high school in Japan is all about. This is one of Brooke's students practicing calligraphy at an English Corner Brooke organized.



I was lucky to catch some of the first cherry blossoms (sakura) of the season budding while I was in Japan. This picture was taken at a beautiful park in Hamamatsu.




Young students in Japan wear helmets when walking home to protect them in the event of an earthquake. No, I'm not kidding.






More cherry blossoms. This is probably my favorite picture I took while in Japan.







Me at a Buddhist shrine in Hamamatsu. These red gates are all over Japan, though I'm not exactly sure what they mean. Special thanks to Brooke for snapping this pic.

Boozin' in China

The most popular alcohol in China is a vile little concoction called “baijiu”. You know how sake, a rice-wine made in Japan, is imported to and enjoyed in America? Well, there is a good reason why no one on earth imports baijiu from China. Essentially, baijiu tastes like fermented orange peel spiked with horseradish and soaked in butane. No, baijiu does not taste of oranges--just the peel. Baijiu comes in a variety of colors and packages, all of them equally repugnant. It can range from two and a half kuai a bottle for the cheap stuff (about .30 American cents) to more than 300 kuai for the “good” stuff. It has about 40 percent alcohol, which puts it on par with vodka, though it gives a more wicked hangover.

One of the most popular ways to celebrate or commemorate something in China is by having a banquet. Most foreigners who come to China will be invited to numerous banquets. Treating a guest to a banquet in China is the ultimate display of hospitality. Besides eating, the main activity at these banquets is drinking baijiu, although it is perfectly fine to tell your hosts that you don’t drink and to refuse the stuff (you’ll also be offered cigarettes which you can also refuse). Those who are up to the challenge are poured a small glass full of baijiu (around two onces worth), which will be refilled by a person sitting next to them whenever it is emptied. You are supposed to wait until being toasted to drink, but it happens plenty often. Those partaking in a toast will stand, clink glasses, say “gan bei” (literally “empty cup”), and pound their drinks. It’s polite to give a toast from time to time even if you merely say thanks to everyone around. For many Chinese men, these banquets become a game to get their buddies tanked, and many banquets don't end until no one is left standing. This can take hours and go all night.

However, as a general rule of thumb, Chinese people can’t hold their liquor. Even those considered “big drinkers” in China can’t hold a candle to a decorated American bar warrior. After merely two or three drinks, many Chinese people develop a heavy “Asian glow”. At this point, their cheeks flush a rosy color and they begin to act considerably more abrasive, foolish, and loud, depending on the person. I’m sure there is a Chinese person somewhere out there who can hold his own while drinking, but I haven’t met him. The P.E. teacher at my school once challenged me to a drinking contest. This guy stands over six feet tall and weighs maybe 130 pounds on a good day while soaking wet and wearing a heavy coat. Nevertheless, I was excited for the contest. Sadly, after I told the teacher how much liqueur I drank on my 21st birthday in Las Vegas, he sheepishly bailed out of the contest. If you ever find yourself in a drinking match with a Chinese person I would suggest going easy on them so as to save them face and not give the impression that all foreigners are jiuguai (literally "alcohol demon", meaning alcoholic).

The most popular drink in the bars in Changsha is something I've dubbed "whisktea". It's a really weak mixture of whiskey and green tea over ice. It doesn’t taste half bad, but its also lacking in alcohol. I drink it. Smile. And then I find myself a real drink.

I've had terrible luck finding a descent cocktail in Hunan. They don’t exist. Some bars in Changsha offer “cocktails” on their menu but they are overpriced, poorly made, and watered down. I try to avoid them. The only place to get a real cocktail in China (i.e. a mojito, martini, margarita, etc.) is in one of the major cities like Hong Kong, Beijing and Shanghai. On the upside, I almost never have to buy a drink at a bar in Hunan. As a foreigner, the moment I enter the bar, I usually catch the eye of everyone nearby. Many Chinese people are happy to offer me drinks, whether or not they speak English, just for the pleasure/humor of drinking with a foreigner. That's right: Living in China brings you instant fame and instant free booze.

Dear Teacher Zach...

A few weeks ago, I was inspired by the note giver to create a lesson plan for my students revolving around them writing letters to me. I told my students that they should write me a letter about themselves and that could write anything they wanted and ask me any questions they wanted. I read them a brief example, and then gave them 20 minutes to work their magic.

The letters my students gave me were really amazing. Most of them followed a simple pattern to the tune of, "Dear Teacher Zach, My name is... I am 12 years old. I live in China. Your class is interesting. Will you be my friend?" But, some of the letters I got were really unique. They ranged from quirky, to interesting, to depressing, to ass-kissing, to laugh out loud funny. It was a very revealing week concerning the lives of my students and it was also one of my favorite lessons this year.

After working my way through a stack of nearly 1100 letters (picture on the left), I decided to share some of my favorites with you below. Note that I've left the letters in their original form and haven't corrected any grammar or spelling. However, I've added a few comments to the letters illustrating things that might not otherwise be apparent. The comments I've made appear in parenthetical statements and are italicized. When reading, remember that my students are pretty young and most of them haven't studied English for very long. Enjoy! (I know I did.)


Dear Teacher Zach:
Last week, I meet a boy. I'm really suprised, because he looks like my favorite boy friend. I found I love he. I think he is very cool and kindly. But he doesn't like me. he likes another girl. I'm very sad. I don't know why. Do you like a girl when you are a student?

Your friend.
Marcia

Dear Teather zach:
I like some fruit. The apples is my favorit fruit. How about you? I love you never!

Your student: Zhang Bo

Dear teacher Zarck:
My name is Trangle. I look like is (Whatever was written here was erased with whiteout). Maybe I can as an actor. My favorit sports is tennis and swim. How about you? I think maybe you like golf.
Can I ask you something? What girl's style do you like? The cute girls or the other. Haha! Maybe you can't answer.

Your Dear student: Xu YingDear

Teacher Zach.
My name's is Wang-Zhixiong. I am 13 years old. I have a red glasses. I have a short, straight black hair. I really like your class, because in your class, I feel so happy. I think you is a good teacher. In our school, I think anyone both like you! My favorite subject is English and P.E. They are fun! How about you? Do you like sports? What is your favorite sports and subject? And, what is your favorite color?

Your friend,
Wang Zhixiong :)

Dear Teacher Zach
I am a new student in the class. I think your class is very interesting, in your class we needn't write a lot of things and sometimes we can take games.
You say you are a volunteer. I think it is very cool. I will be a volunteer when I grow up

Your student
Liu Hao

Dear Zach,
My name is Addison. Can you give me so many money? I love money very much. Do you love me? I'm very interesting

Your's
Addison

Dear Teacher Zach,
First, I will say. I'm very happy to know you. I'm a student in class 15 (One of my most advanced classes). My Chinese name is Li Xinyi. and my English name is Lily. It's a very beautiful name from a flower.
I like English and watching movies. Do you like movies? My favorite movie is The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. I think it is a very good movie. Shakespeare is my favorite writer. (Wow, a student after my own heart.) I like he's book "King Lear". Do you know it. I holp you like Shakespeare.
At last. I holp you happy every day.

Your friend.
Lily.

Dear Teacher Zach,
My English name is Catherine. I'm very like your class, because it's fun, and not boring. The Tuo Fat is delicious, right? (Tou Fat is a Chinese popsicle-like thing made of small cubes of flavored gelatin and is sold at the school store. I love it and eat it nearly every day.) And the green tea is great! (I also drink a lot of bottled green tea.) I like you, because you are very handsome and kind.
I really like skating, how about you? I think, Chinese children are very buzy and tired. Are the American children like us?
I'll tell you a secret, I am very adore you!

Your friend,
Catherine

Dear Teacher zach,
My name is Tan zhe shu. I'm 12 years old. I'm from Changsha. In 1995, I come world. I like play football. My favorite movie is..., oh I don't have a favorite movie. I like green.

Tan zhe shu

Dear Teacher zach,
You is very cute, but hard have very freckles, and very muscular.
Frend zuo Quan

Dear Teacher Zach,
I am a girl in class 16. I have an English name that is Betty, and my Chinese name is------ (She wrote her name in Chinese characters here and I'm sad to say that I can't read it or reproduce it). I really love your class very much. I think you are interesting and a little cute. You beard is too long, you must cut (I had about a week's worth of stubble on my face at the time). Do you think so? If you cut your beard, it will make you more handsome. Um. this idea is perfect.
At last, I'll ask you some questions. Are you have a wife, if answer is "Yes", I hope you are all well. What kind of music do you like best? What class do you like best? Can you tell me the different in Chinese children and American children? Which one do you love?
Ok! This letter is so long. Bye-bye!

Your student
Betty

Dear Teacher Zach,
I'm from class 5, grade 7. You're also forget me, my name in Chinese is "xue ze ze", and in English is "Paul silver xystus". I think you are cool, I meet so many American teacher. but you are best of them. You are from America. I think America is a very very nice country, I want to go there, because my father is be gone there and take a photo and video, I want go there! And I like UK too! I like the movie of there--"Harry Potter", "Mr.Bean." Remeber me, zach! I'm in class 5, "Paul. silver. xystus." you can call me "paul".
Remeber me, Zach!! (Ok, I promise I won't forget Paul.)

Your friend--
paul. class 5.

Dear Mr. Zach,
Hello, my name is kelly, I am your student, I very like your teach way, we all like you.
Chinese students are very busy, they are study every day, every month, every year, and they have lots of homework and lots of classes. Saturday and Sunday they can't go ant play, they can only study in home, I think we are poor, we are all don't like teacher. Why don't we like teacher? Because they usually give us lost of homework and often don't like us, then, Why do we like you? Because you to us very good, and donte give us homework, so we are all like you.
By the way, we are all think you are handsome too!

your friend,
Kelly

Dear Zach,
I am your student in Class 16, Grade 7. my English name is Will hawkers. I'm the tallest boy in class! Can you remember? I want to be a judge. Because my father is a great judge. Even he's died. I want to be a judge. Work for people, work for country, work for justice! How about you? I want to know something about you.

Best wishes!
Your student: Will: Hawkers.

Dear Teacher Zach,
My name's Catherine. I'm a student in grade seven class fifteen. I like eating and sleeping very much. Maybe you think I'm very lazy. Yes, sometimes I'm very lazy, but sometimes I'm very hard. I'm a lazy and happy girl. I have two small eyes (I'm glad you aren't a Cyclops). And I have straight black hair.
My English marks are always very high. So I'm a good student. Do you like to be friends with me?

Your friend,
Catherine.

Dear Teacher zach
My name is Sue. I'm 12 years old, I like swim and play tennis. I like action movie- kiss of the dragon. I don't like carrot, Well, I look like is god, :) , I like black and white. (Yes, I suppose God does work in absolutes.)

Your friend Sue

Dear Teacher Zach,
My name is Davis. I'm 12 years old. My favorite country is Japan. Because I like Japan comic very much! I think Japanese are very kind and friendly. Japan is free, not like China. Japan's citys are clean. I like Japan's food, too. Do you like Japan? I like it very much! (Wow, this kid is a heretic. Most of my students HATE Japan and the Japanese.)

Your friend,
Davis.

Dear Teacher Zach,
My name is Lyle. I'm 13 years old. I like reading. reading is my favorite way to relax, I like reading at school, I like reading in the library and I like reading at school. As you can see, reading is a very important part of my life. I work hard at all my lessons. And I like English best. My dream is to be a English Teacher when I grow up. And I know it is not easy to learn English wear. There is a long way to go. But I work hard.

Your friend,
Lyle.

Dear Teacher Zach.
I am an outgoing boy. My name is Own. I am thirteen years old. I feel terrific lately. And how about you? How's everything going with you? Have you changed much? Or just gaining weight? (Ok, this student gets an F.) Tell me about your life. Thanks.

Your student, Owen

Dear Teacher Zach,
Do you like Chinese food? Do you like to have tea? Let me tell you something about tea. More than three hundred years ago most of the people in Europe did not know anything about tea. Once an English doctor came back from China for Christmas vacation. He gave his mother some tea as a gift...
Next, let me tell you something about myself. My name is Kobe. I'm 13. I'm from China. My parents is You Tai Ren (This is how you say "Jewish" in Chinese). If you believe me, you are a fool.

Your friend,
Kobe.

Dear Teacher Zach,
My name is Li Yang. My English name is Herakles-Advent-Isolated-Demon-Epic-Smith. (Best name EVER!) I'm 12 years old. I hate sports, so I'm a little fat. I don't like eating things which are bitter. I love Kentucky Fried Chicken. I want to be a diplomat when I grow up. Please write and tell me something about yourself soon.

Your friend,
Haides (Wow, yet another name.)

Dear Teacher Zach-
I'm Wang Monkey. I'm 14 years old. I like climbing the best. I like movie which is about monkey. I like bananas. I look like a handsome monkey. I like yellow best, because I like bananas.

Yours, Monkey.

China Blue

I just watched a tragic documentary called China Blue about the manufacture of jeans in Chinese factories by migrant workers. The documentary follows the life of Jasmine, a 16 year old girl from the Sichuan province, as she moves away from home to work in a jean manufacturing plant. She hopes to earn money to support her family, particularly her young sister. At the plant, she is forced to work 30 hour shifts without overtime, and she is only payed the equivalent of six cents an hour. She toils day after day with monotonous work and squalid living conditions. Her bosses even withhold her pay for nearly two months at one point with no explanation. After merely seven weeks on the job she transforms from a young, vibrant child into a bitter and hopeless automaton. Such is the life of a factory worker in Modern China.

The film is a stunning condemnation of our consumerist culture in the West and our exploitation of cheap overseas labor. The film also lays blame on the Chinese system which allows for such abuses to be doled out upon millions of its young workers. It's a must see film and after watching it you'll have a lot of trouble buying a new pair of designer jeans with a clean conscience. You can watch a brief preview below.

V for Videos

Hey all,

Exciting news in blog world: I've begun to add my China videos to YouTube! I shoot these videos with my two-year old, 3.1 megapixel digital camera, so please forgive me if they aren't Oscar quality. Hopefully you'll find some of them amusing and or enlightening. The videos offer a pretty good look at the sights and sounds of my daily life. You can link to my YouTube page on the right hand side of this blog or simply by clicking here.

Here is a little preview to wet your appetite... This is a funny clip of one of my 7th grade classes doing facial exercises before the start of class. One of my students informed me that they do these to prevent their vision from going bad...The sound you hear is a prerecorded count down in Chinese that plays over the school's PA system.

Kindergarten Combat

*This blog was written November 8th, 2006*

I teach at a campus about 30 minutes outside of the city of Changsha. So, everyday day I take a bus to and from the school. Today, at the end of the day as I was walking across my campus on the way to the bus to go home, I noticed a small group of students standing in a circle and shouting about something. I couldn't quite see what was going on, so I walked closer to investigate. As I approached, the students stepped aside to reveal a scene straight out of a kungfu movie. Only, this grisly movie was being acted out by kids who couldn't have been older than third graders.

It was a fight; a really rough fight. I watched, horrified and shocked, as I saw two pint-sized students engaged in mortal combat. It was brutal. There was eye-gouging, choking, and even kicks to the head.

I ran over and pulled the two of them apart just as one was digging his fingers into the other's eye socket. They were both panting heavily, but once I stepped in they seemed to calm down. For my part, I felt lucky that these kids were less than half my size and that I could so easily stop them. After I separated them, they remained silent as I held them arms-length from one another, but there was fire burning in their eyes.

Luckily, they both came out of the scrape in pretty good condition. One of them had a bloody nose and the other's shirt was torn, but these certainly weren't life-threatening wounds. I asked them to apologize in English, but they didn't understand. I asked again in Chinese, but they still remained silent. I really wanted them to make nice, but clearly it wasn't going to happen. Feeling slightly defeated, slightly awed, and mostly feeling disturbed, I called a Chinese teacher over to clean up the scene and I ran to catch my bus.

Oh China... Land of mortal kindergarten combat.

Quentin Tarantino Messes Up

No one doubts that American filmmaker Quentin Tarantino is a cinematic prodigy. You'd be hard pressed to find an auteur who has as much love and respect for the silver screen as he does. Usually his movies are overflowing with obscure cinematic references and tributes. This man does his homework and generally doesn't make mistakes. But, while watching Kill Bill 2 this weekend with my dearest Dai Li, I found that the golden man of pulp cinema isn't as infallible as he seems.

At the beginning of the awesome scene "The Cruel Tutelage of Pai Mei", the scene in which Beatrix Kiddo goes to the Sichuan province in China to study with a kung fu master, Dai Li yells, "Hey! They don't speak Guangdong hua in Sichuan!" She was right, Pai Mai wasn't speaking Mandarin, he was speaking Cantonese (called Guangdong hua in Mandarin), which also explains why I couldn't understand much of what was being said. In fact, the actor playing Pai Mai, Chia Hui Liu, is from Hong Kong where most people speak Cantonese rather than Mandarin. I assume that while Chia probably speaks a bit of Mandarin, Tarantino had him speak his native tongue so he wouldn't butcher the pronunciation. Still, the Chinese person I was watching the movie with didn't buy this, and neither do I.Mandarin Speaking Skills: 1, Tarantino's Film Veracity: 0

China and the "Black Man"

The Chinese term for a person of African descent is 黑人 (hēirén), literally meaning "black man". Similar to the way in which African-Americans are commonly called "black" in America, the term hēirén is innocuous and inoffensive to Chinese people. But, China doesn't always fair so well with pan-Africa racial relations.

The Chinese are an interesting bunch. On one hand, most of the country is very welcoming and open to most foreigners, including those from the African continent and also those of African descent. As China tries to modernize, there is a genuine want to be open to the world and to learn from other cultures. There are, for example, more Africans in the city of Changsha than any other group of foreigners. But on the other hand, China doesn't quite understand racial sensitivity.

Take, for instance, Darlie toothpaste. The Darlie logo is a grinning black man with pearly white teeth who is wearing a top hat. It looks unmistakably like an image from the era when racist and stereotyped images were commonly used to sell products in the Southern United States. Basically, it looks like a man in blackface.

It turns out the Darlie toothpaste was created by a Hong Kong company and was originally named "Darkie". Colgate-Palmolive bought the company in 1985 and quickly changed the name to avoid being branded racist or creating a media-relations fiasco. Still, the blackface-like image remains, and the name of the toothpaste in Chinese is still "Black Man Toothpaste".

Recently, a Canadian women was aghast to find a label on her newly bought dark brown couch identifying the color as "Nigger Brown". After making a complaint, the women learned that the label was made in China and was the result of old translating software that turned 深棕 (dark brown) into the offending word. The women has since filed a lawsuit against the manufacturer for not catching the word before the couch was put on a sales floor. The Chinese company says they can't be blamed because they had no idea what the word meant and they have now updated their translating software. You can read an article about it here.

In fact, the Chinese word for "that" is pronounced "niga", sounding almost identical to the racist English term. "Niga" is also used as a connective pause, the same way we use "ummm" in English. Most Chinese have no idea what the word means in English. When I first moved to China, it really threw me off balance to here "niga" uttered so often without knowing its meaning.

At the heart of the matter lies in the fact that China was isolated from the rest of the world for so long. To the best of my knowledge, China never had a hand in the African slave trade, nor do most Chinese people know about slavery in America and the racism that sprung from it. This ignorance is both a blessing and a curse. On the upside, it means that Chinese people don't have any longstanding, slavery-linked, racist attitudes toward blacks, as we do in America. But, it also means that they find don't understand (without explanation from a Westerner) why a toothpaste like Darlie is so offensive, or why sensitivity to racial differences is so important.

As China integrates further into the world, including preparing for the summer Olympics, these are issues and topics Chinese people will have to address.

*Update*
I've written a new post in which I discuss issues raised in this post in greater depth. You can read it here: China and the Black Man (Pt. 2)

Supreme Court's Decision Against Abortion Puts Panda In Peril

Pandas are are a national treasure in China. Everyone loves them, and everyone thinks they're cuter than hell. And who can blame them? Anything that sleeps and eats bamboo for a living get my vote of confidence. Yet, not all is happy in Pandaville.

A breaking news video from a reputable news source has broken a stunning story that a panda in Washington D.C. has suffered horrific abuse at the hands of her American captors! And now, to make matters worse, her keepers are trying to strip the pregnant panda of her right to choose. As an American I am ashamed.

"No want little panda. Take out baby. No want baby. Cement box... No sky... No friends... Hate life... No want this life for baby," said Yun Mei the panda.

Should the panda be allowed to abort her baby? Will the U.S. Supreme Court stop her? Watch the story. You decide.
Panda Demands Abortion

Sanitation? Mei You! (Non-existent)

As long as I'm talking about the differences between China and the West on issues of cleanliness, I must talk about sanitation, or rather, lack thereof. China is a dirty, dirty place. If you're reading this from the comfort of your home in a Western country you really can't understand just how dirty it is. Sorry, you just can't. It's unfathomable. I could write a whole novel about this, but I'll attempt to keep it short.

Public spitting is rampant. People spit on the street. People spit on the floor inside of restaurants. People even spit on crowded buses. For me, the spitting itself isn't as bad as the pre-spit wind up, a long phlegmy hawking sound as the offender prepares to clean his sinuses. I've now lived in China for eight months and I still cringe every time I hear that sound.A writer once deemed this sound the national anthem of China. Quite right I say.

Beyond spitting, there is just a high general level of dirt, grime and sludge. Most people throw garbage on the street without a second thought, even in beautiful scenic areas. City and country alike are awash in discarded beer cans, cigarette butts, and instant noodle containers.

Pollution is so unchecked that large portions of the Yangtze have become uninhabitable for most river-going creatures. The skies in Chinese cities are perpetually brown, and you can only see blue if you crane your neck and look directly up. When it rains, it rains acid.

But, like almost everything else in China, sanitation standards are rapidly changing. The Communist leaders in Beijing are in a tizzy about how foreigners will view their country during the summer Olympics next year. Will they find it overcrowded, polluted, and full of rude, callous people lacking the most basic of manners? This is the fear of the government.

So, to prepare China for the world, Beijing is undergoing vast renovations, both to it's infrastructure and to the very way of life for its inhabitants. Public transportation is being revamped and the subway is being expanded. Bad English signs (lovely termed "Chinglish" by foreign residents of China) are being corrected and replaced. And Beijingers themselves are being given a crash course in Western manners. No cutting in line. No cursing. And, perhaps the most ambitious aim of the government, no more spitting. A hilarious article was posted today in the NY Times about Beijing's efforts to revamp itself for the games. "Given that Chinese leaders regard the Olympics as a milestone event to showcase China to the world, they obviously do not want to be embarrassed," says the article. A highly recommended read.

*On a side note--My last two posts have touched on the grimier side of China, but make no mistake, I really love this country and it's people. I'll try to touch on China's more pleasant side in some future postings.

Public Hygiene

The concept of privacy is different in China than it is in most of the Western word. Of course, China is the most populous country on earth, so it is little wonder that Chinese people don’t bother or care to look for seclusion when going about their day to day lives. China is a crowded country. Good luck finding a place to be alone.

The differences between China and the West in the pursuit of privacy extend to nearly ever facet of life. The most striking of these differences, that is to say, the one that was most off-putting to me when I first arrived, is personal hygiene. Don’t get me wrong. This isn’t to say Chinese people don’t take care of themselves. Most people born after the Cultural Revolution (roughly anyone under the age of 45) certainly care a lot about the way they look and of taking care of themselves. But, what we view as guarded, private activities, the Chinese comfortably perform in the most public of settings.

Tooth brushing is often done on the street with a bowl full of water (Who needs a sink drain when you’ve gone some perfectly nice asphalt on which to spit?). Men shave their faces in hotel lobbies and in grocery stores, sometimes with cordless electric razors loudly buzzing away as they pick through the produce section. People clip their nails (fingers and toes) on public buses, to hell with where the clippings might land. A friend told me a particularly frightening tale about a woman who sat next to her on a bus who was using tweezers to pull hair sprouts from a mole on her face. Charming.

Forget personal hygiene. China has invented public hygiene.

I walked into the teacher’s office at my school last week in and saw the head teacher washing his hair in the middle of the room with the help of a student. First, the student fetched the teacher a large bucket of water. Then the teacher bent over the bucket and had the student pour water over his head while he scrubbed vigorously. I didn’t see any shampoo. This was the very first thing I saw at work that day—public hair washing in an office. I knew it was going to be a good day. And, of course, it was.

A Humbling Experience. A Dumb American. A Near Riot.

A few weeks ago I had an embarrassing reminder of just how ignorant Americans sometimes are about the rest of the world…me included.

I was playing a game with one of my most advanced junior 1 classes (11-13 year olds) and everything was going smoothly until the very end of class. I had the class divided into two teams, girls versus boys. (Chinese people go nuts for any kind of competition and when I’m looking for a sure fire way to get every student interested and involved in a lesson I simply split them into teams and watch as epic battles ensue.) For this particular game I asked a person from each team a question (exp. How many states are there in America?). If they answered correctly they had a chance to throw a paper airplane at a large dartboard-esque target I drew on the blackboard.

The trouble began right after the final bell rang, signaling the end of class. When the bell rang the girl’s team (ironically named “The Winners”) was trailing the boys with a score of 25 to 45. I decided to give them one more shot. Almost every girl in class shot her hand up in the air to answer a question, eager for a chance to redeem their gender and snatch victory from the boys. The previous two questions I asked students to name the capitals of France and the U.S.A., so I decided to keep on this track and ask another capital. I chose a tiny girl with huge glasses to answer the question. She stood up with a massive grin on her face. “What,” I said without thinking, “is the capital of Australia?” (Before you read any further, please stop for a moment and ask yourself the same question. Do you know the answer? Are you sure? Ok, read ahead.)

Without pausing the student confidently answered the question. The only problem was, I either didn’t hear or didn’t understand what she said. “Can you repeat that?” I asked. She said it again. Whatever she was saying started with a K or a C, but I couldn’t understand it for the life of me. “Please spell that,” I said to her. “C A N B E R R A,” she said, pronouncing each letter clearly and pointedly. I wrote it on the board and stared long and hard. Canberra? I’d never even heard of that. “Wrong!” I yelled. “The correct answer is Sydney.”

That was it, the girls lost it. “No! No! You are wrong,” they screamed. “Our Chinese teacher told us the capital of Australia is Canberra!” It was at this point that I dug myself deeper into a hole that was already bored through the middle of the earth. “Well then, I’m sorry but your Chinese teacher is wrong,” I blithely said. “The boys win.”

Pandemonium. Anarchy. The girls were all standing and shouting at me in Chinese. I had no idea what they were saying, but they were frothing at the mouth. Two girls burst into tears. An unknown assailant chucked a wad of paper at my head. A few girls stood on their desks and began pumping their fists in the air (yes, this REALLY happened). I was half expecting a Molotov cocktail to smack me in the face. The boys meanwhile sat calmly in their desks, snarky grins smeared across their faces.

Things looked bad and I had to act quickly. “Maybe I’m wrong about Australia,” I sheepishly admitted. “I’ll look up the right answer for next class.” Then I gave the girls another question (the capital of England), which they easily got right. The tiny girl with huge glasses took a shot at the target with her paper airplane and missed. The boys won and I hurried out of class with my tail between my legs.

As soon as I stepped out of the classroom I phoned Tess (a fellow WorldTeach teacher at my school), told her my sorry tale, and then asked her the capital of Australia. She wasn't sure either, so she looked it up online and low and behold, the girls were right. I quickly thanked her and hung up. I felt queasy. Attempting to salvage some pride, I next called Jackie, another WorldTeach teacher and one who had just returned from a vacation in Australia weeks prior. If she didn’t know the answer, I reasoned, I was partially pardoned because most Americans must be ignorant shmucks when it comes to our friends in Oceania.

Jackie didn’t know either.

The next week I returned to the riotous class, confessed my sin, and apologized. Actually, the class seemed to have forgotten the whole incident. “Mei guan xi! Mei guan xi! Mei shi,” they kept saying. It’s all right. It doesn’t matter. Still, I’m not sure how much effect the incident had on my credibility with the class or the amount of respect they have for me.

Stupid Americans. I knew I should have taken geography in high school.

Duai Bu Qi (Sorry)

I’d like to take a moment to apologize for not writing in my blog as often as I said I would. I fell behind with writing and I’m so busy in China that it can be difficult to catch up. Additionally, for the past two months the site that hosts my blog, blogger.com, has been blocked in China. Don’t ask me why. However, I’ve found a way to get around the blockade and I’ve recommitted to writing in the blog. It’s important for me to share my experiences here in China with my friends, and it’s also important to write some of my thoughts, memories and experiences down so I can reflect on and remember them later. Also, I realize that I need to keep up my writing so it doesn’t go to the dogs, particularly since on an average day here I now speak an equal amount of Chinese as I do English. I’d hate for my writing to become an exercise in Chinglish.

That being said, if you read my blog and see something interesting, or have a comment to share, please please do so! It’s always nice to know that others find my writing valuable in some way, or, at the very least, that someone is in fact reading the blog.

I’ve been a little bit better about updating my photos, so check out the link on the right side of this page from time to time, or just click here. Also, I still plan on adding some videos to Youtube so I’ll be sure to post a link when that happens!

Love and Respect,
Zach

A Night out with the Medical Community of Changsha

*This blog was written December, 1, 2006. Look forward to more blogs I have written in the past few months coming soon.*

My friend Dr. Ray invited me for a night out on the town last night with some of his medical colleagues. Dr. Ray is a Chinese national who spent some time in Canada for med-school before coming back to Changsha to practice surgery and finish his schooling –Chinese-style. He and I became good friends after I edited a medical paper he authored on a new surgical procedure for fixing hernias. He submitted the paper to be published in an international surgical journal and he wanted me to proof it before he sent it in for review. As a result, my name will soon be affixed to a published medical paper… I’m sure this will come in handy when I apply to med-school…cough cough.

Anyhow, last night I joined Dr. Ray and about five other doctors at a raucous club on Jie Feng Lu, a street filled with dozens of bars near the center of Changsha. Things went from sober to decidedly unsober in the span of maybe 20 minutes. There I was, watching men who had been in the operating room only hours prior, pounding away shot after shot of whiskey and tea (a popular mix in China). The docs were having a grand drunken time and, when they weren’t toasting each other or toasting me, they were dancing with every girl in site.

One of Dr. Ray’s friends, an oncologist with a round head and a firm handshake, was particularly giddy with booze and would toast whoever was closest to him with a full shot whenever he made eye contact. When our first round of merriment ran dry, the oncologist joyously handed hundreds of Renmenbi (the currency in China, literally “The people's money”) to the nearest cocktail waitress for a new bottle of whiskey.

There was really only one fitting response to the whole surreal scene: I danced, I drank, and I partied, and the whole time, a team of medical professionals joined me in the action. Suffice it to say; I can’t quite imagine a similar evening unfolding in the states, which is too bad really. I’d love to know how many shots of whiskey my stateside doctor could take before he would willingly climb on a stage and grind with the nearest lady.

Fun and Games: The Internet in China

As a corollary to my last posting... A great article appeared in the New York Times recently about internet usage in China. While in America we use the internet primarily for information gathering, emailing, and, to a lessor extent, social networking, in China the net is primarily used as an entertainment gateway. The article talks in length about QQ, an instant messaging program that virtually everyone in China under the age of 35 uses. Rather than screenames, QQ users have long numbers as their identifiers. One of the questions I most get asked by my students is, "What is your QQ number teacher Zach?" I do in fact have a QQ number and I have used the program a few times, but honestly, I find it a bit maddening. QQ mirrors all the ways in which modern Chinese youth culture is quirky and nonsensical to me as a Westerner. It is flashy and filled with cutesy little do-nothing features as well as millions of different bleepy noises alerting you to everything from the fact that a buddy has just IMed you (a sound like someone knocking at your door) to a sound that can alert you when...well, I don't really know what it is supposed to point out, but it sounds like a llama giving birth to a toaster.

Also, I'm in Japan now for about two weeks, so look forward to some blogs about the land of the rising sun in the near future.

The Great Red Firewall

My access to Western Internet sites seems to have mostly returned to normal after a nearly month-long blackout, although I still can't get sites that use a lot of bandwidth (YouTube, etc). The official story from the Chinese government is that an earthquake in Taiwan a few weeks ago snapped six out of seven trans-Pacific cables used to connect most of Southeast Asia to the West. Western news agencies seem to have embraced this version of events quite readily, but I'm not so sure. The Internet blackout coincided not only with the earthquake in Taiwan, but also with the appointment of three new "media watchdog" heads in Beijing. During the blackout, all Chinese websites were easily accessible, but any site with servers based overseas ( NYtimes.com, Myspace.com, etc.) wouldn't load. However, I could gain limited access to some Western sites using a proxy server, which, if the cable story was accurate, shouldn't have been possible. I can't really say more, but, you get the basic picture. Big brother is always watching...

I will say that living without Western websites, even for a month, was painful. I couldn't read the news, post photos online, or even do simple tasks like emailing my friends overseas. If nothing else, the blackout made me realize my dependence on the technological and informational comforts of home, and the way in which I am usually able to keep in touch so well with people on the other side of the world. I might be in China, but most of the time, I don't feel so far away.

The Note Giver

Every Monday afternoon, just after I finish teaching for the day, an 11-year-old student of mine from class #4 shyly approaches me and hands me a small note. The note is always written on a little blue square of paper no more than 2x2 inches big. She started giving me the notes in early November, and, at first, they were pretty minimal. The very first note simply asked me if I knew of a popular British boy-band song (I didn't). As weeks have passed, the notes have become more and more complex, and her English, while still stilted, really seems to be improving.

The note she handed me Mid-December week read…

Dera zach,
December on twenty-five is Merry christmas. happy to you. (she drew a miniature picture of an elf here)
“ho, where is my christmas sock;
Yes, it’s in my family
Do you like Christmas? Yes, you like!

The girl herself is petite and unassuming. She has shortly cropped pitch-black hair, a tiny semi-circle scar to the left of her nose, and dark, quiet eyes. While many of my students are loud and rambunctious (as can be expected from any 11-12 year old kids) she is calm and often looks sleepy. Before she began handing me the notes, she never left an impression on me. In fact, had it not been for the notes, she would have been lost in the crowd amongst my 1056 others students.

Yet, there she is, week after week, small blue note in hand, making friends with her foreign teacher, and ensuring that I start my week with a big smile on my face.