Attack of the Panda Police!

Brace yourself readers, for what follows is the sordid tale of a group of nutty people channeling their love of cuddly animals into unmitigated rage and ridiculousness.

If you think Anne Coulter is angry and crazy, just wait until you read below...

It all began innocently enough with a trip to the Chengdu Panda Breeding and Research Center in the Sichuan province of China. I visited the center in the summer of 2006 with my friend, and fellow WorldTeach volunteer, Mary Claire. Apparently we picked a really good day for our trip because the park was nearly empty when we arrived. We had the chance to hold and feed red pandas (I think it cost us RMB 50 each) and we were also able to get really close to a number of giant pandas. It was a magical day and I was thrilled I had the opportunity to witness such rare and endangered animals up close and personal in their home country.

I was able to take some great photographs during the trip, which I subsequently posted on Flickr...

And, that, dear blog readers, is where the trouble began.

I uploaded nine photos from the trip, including three closeup shots of China's national emblem, the giant panda. Without much thought, I wrote satirical captions on two of the panda photos (big mistake). The photos appear below with their original titles and captions.
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Pickled Pandas Preserved panda cubs at the Chengdu panda preserve. Delicious...I mean, cute... I don't know what I mean.

(The above comment wasn't meant to suggest that I'd ever consider eating a panda, or any other endangered species for that matter, but rather, I was poking fun at the fact that the Chinese will eat almost every animal alive, and every part of every animal. You name it, the Chinese probably eat it. Deer blood. Dog paws. Snake gallbladders. Yak Penis. Turtle Shell. Chicken feet. Sheep fetuses. They eat it all. In fact, there is a Chinese saying that, “The Chinese eat everything with four legs, except tables — and everything that flies except airplanes.” And cute? Well, baby pandas definitely rank amongst the cutest animals alive, but when pickled in formaldehyde and put in display jars? Ehhhhhh, not so much.)

Abott and Costello: The Pandas

I think the look on the face of the panda to the right proves without a doubt that pandas are the dumbest animals alive. This photo is therefor dedicated to every panda who wouldn't screw to save his species.

(Ok, this caption is less defensible, but the look on the panda's face to the right just cracks me up. The line about pandas not screwing to save their species is from Fight Club. Do I really think pandas are unintelligent? No I don't, and I didn't assume people would take my comments so seriously. But, in any case, that panda just looks DUMB.)
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The craziness began within hours of me posting the photos. The pics started racking up a huge number of views and panda fanatics from everywhere seemed to be drawn to my photos like...well, like pandas would be drawn to to crack-covered bamboo. To this day "Pickled Pandas" remains my most-viewed Flickr photo, with over 6,700 individual views as I write this.

But, these panda fiends weren't content just looking at my pics. Oh no. They were incensed and enraged by my captions and they were determined to unleash their furry fury on me in comment form. A bunch of them wrote lengthy passages extolling the virtues of giant pandas under my pictures, and some of them just hurled insults. Nearly all of them engaged in gross anthropormorphism. Someone from the Flickr group Pandas Unlimited even started a comment thread directing people toward my pandas pics and telling them to leave nasty comments. Hmmm...now that doesn't seem very cuddly.

Some of the more choice comments appear below.

buttercake56 Says:
anyone who would take and post a photo like this is NOT A HUMAN BEING

RosieTheRiveter Says:
You are sick.

sbkap Says:
I have never seen anything as terrible as this--you should be ashamed!

kitchan86 Says:
I cannot believe you use "CUTE" for this pictures, instead it is sad to lose panda cubs.

donnapandabear Says:
What an awful attitude you have. I worry about anyone who would joke about eating these their upper bodies look like human babies from the back.

hantu2008 Says:
Pandas are china national treasure. You can get death sentence for trading pandas.

Unka Bobby Says:
Zach, you are a freak, and probably should be eaten by an adult panda.

TAIwiffic Says:
Look up the word sociopath. I think you'll find your picture next to the definition.
A pox on you, buddy!

babyricoy Says:
you are a horrible man.So far I already meet and guess what... I HATE YOU! by the way you look ugly.You should not show your face in public

newnham25@btopenworld.com Says:
whoever done that will die as a dead man and burn and not to forget pickeled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ann's wild animals Says:
Pandas are the most intelligent animals and yes , their maternal instincts are far better than most humans . They would do anything to protect their young , in ways you couldn't even imagine !
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Interestingly enough, most of the commentators were American, and they seemed to have little or no interest in, or knowledge of, China. To me, that's like being in love with koalas but thinking that they're native to Oklahoma. And, to top it all off, most of angry posters' Flickr pages feature nothing but pictures of pandas... Thousands upon thousands of panda pictures. Seriously. Check it out if you don't believe me.

At first I was honored that my photos were garnering so much attention. I played along for a bit and did some panda-baiting by leaving combative replies to some of the comments. But, after a while, it just got old. And then, it got creepy. As seen above, I was essentially receiving threats of being pickled and people stooped so low as to call me ugly. Tsk tsk.

Tired of the nonsense, I eventually removed the "offensive" captions. In any case, I learned a valuable lesson from this little saga: The panda police are always on patrol and they will attack at the slightest provocation!

Consider yourself warned.

Return of the Blogger

Welcome back to Erasing the Sun! No longer defunct!

It's been approximately 593 days since my last blog post... Yes, I am ashamed. Do I have an amazing excuse? Was I kidnapped and locked in a panda-guarded cave? Was I in a coma after surviving a yodel-induced avalanche in Nepal? Did I suffer amnesia after a boxing match with Mao's reanimated corpse? Was I following the silk road in a vain search for cotton? ... I'll let you decide.

A lot has changed since my last post. The biggest change is that I moved from Changsha, Hunan, to Hong Kong. So, while I'm still living in the South of China, in reality I'm living in a different world. I have trouble remembering exactly what I knew or thought about Hong Kong before moving to China, but suffice it to say, I probably had some misconceptions.

While Hong Kong is certainly a part of China, it is administered by a separate government. The mainland government refers to this arrangement as, "One country. Two systems." This arrangement stems from the fact that Hong Kong was a British-held territory for most of it's history, and only fell back under Chinese rule in 1997. Because of this reason, Hong Kong escaped much of the trauma experienced by the mainland in the past century. In Hong Kong, there was no civil war, no great leap forward, no cultural revolution, no Mao Ze Dong, and no Tiananmen.

Without these events, Hong Kong emerged as an incredibly distinct place from mainland China. Hong Kong is now by far the most westernized and developed place in all of China -- though a few places in the mainland are quickly catching up. Hong Kong is extremely affluent and its citizens enjoy a high standard of life, a free press, elections for most governments posts, rule of law and an accountable justice system based on British law, quality westernized medical care, and clean drinking water (I've been drinking it anyhow...). This isn't to say that Hong Kong is entirely a rosy colored place. The city has its fair share of problems including a shocking income gap and wealth disparity, poverty, rising unemployment, unaffordable housing, and some laws and regulations that can only be described as flagrantly racist.


So, just how different are Hong Kong and Changsha you ask? Please refer to the handy guide below.

CHANGSHA
Culture
Mostly Eastern, with a random odd thing from the West picked up by younger generations. Pastimes include karaoke, eating at hot pot or street restaurants with friends, spending time with the family, and studying.

HONG KONG
Culture
A blend of East and West. Hong Kong is best described as a combination of Shanghai, London, and NYC tossed into a blender and mixed on the highest setting. Zdddreeerrrrzzzrrrrrrrrr... Hong Kong! To be fair though, Chinese culture often plays a larger role in Hong Kong than elements from western culture. (Not that there is even such a thing as "western culture") Pastimes for young people include shopping, going to movies, spending time with the family, and making money.

CHANGSHA
Housing
My school provided me with two one bedroom apartments, one in the city and one in the countryside, completely free of charge. My city home was roughly 700 square feet, complete with a living room, sun room, futon, washing machine, TV, computer, and assorted nicknacks such as a wok and an old copy of Maxim (presumably left behind by the previous occupant).

HONG KONG
Housing
I had to find my own place to live in Hong Kong. It was quite an exhausting process involving visiting scores of realtors and looking at dozens of apartment. It took about one month of intense searching to find something I was happy with. I actually found a great apartment early in my search but the landlord refused to rent it to me because I wasn't Chinese. I finally settled on a tiny studio apartment that is more expensive than the apartment I once rented in San Diego, one of America's most expensive cities. My Hong Kong apartment is roughly 150 square feet. When I moved in it was unfurnished except for a refrigerator and built-in cabinets. It has a kitchen/shower/toilet combination that is smaller than an airplane restroom. I can literally cook,take a leak and shower at the same time... not that I would ever do such a thing. Still, I like my place. It's cozy and it's nice to have a space all to myself.

CHANGSHA
Cost of living in US Dollars
Bottle of water - $0.12
Bottle of beer purchased at a convenience store - $0.50
Average dinner including drinks - $1.50-$6.50
Dinner for two, including drinks, at the nicest restaurant in town - $50
Average taxi ride - $1.50
Pirated DVD - $0.80
Deodorant - Unavailable

HONG KONG
Cost of living in US Dollars
Bottle of water - $1-3
Bottle of beer purchased at a convenience store - $1-4
Average dinner including drinks - $25-40
Dinner for two, including drinks, at the nicest restaurant in town - $1,000-2,000
Average taxi ride - $9
Pirated DVD - $4
Deodorant - $4

CHANGSHA
Language
Mandarin and the local dialect of Mandarin, Changsha hua. Imagine a drunken Tasmanian Devil trying to speak Chinese and you'll have a rough estimate of what Changsha hua sounds like. Chinglish runs rampant when English is spoken. Signs are nearly all in simplified Chinese.

HONG KONG
Language
A nearly trilingual society. Cantonese is the main language spoken, but most people speak damn good English and Mandarin as well. It's difficult to study Chinese here because it's so easy to speak English. Chinglish is still popular, though less so than in the Mainland. Signs are in traditional Chinese and English.

CHANGSHA
Media
State controlled and censored. Things critical of the Chinese government as well as anything deemed "pornographic" are banned. The web is censored. Japan is often demonized in the press. Journalists are often jailed for doing their jobs. Taboo subjects, including the "three Ts", are forbidden.

HONG KONG
Media
Free and unrestricted press...except for news stories about triad gangs, which are barred from publication. No web censorship. Mainland China, especially the government, is sometimes demonized in the press. Pornography and prostitution are both legal. The only taboo subject is triad gangs.

CHANGSHA
Food
Incredibly spicy, incredibly cheap and incredibly delicious. That said, sanitation and refrigeration standards are lacking. Meat and eggs are often kept unrefrigerated. Basically, I had stomach troubles for the entire year I lived in Hunan, as did most of my friends...including my local Changsha friends. Food-caused illnesses are endemic. Foreign cuisine is hard to come by, although there is a single Italian restaurant, a few Korean and Japanese restaurants and a ton of American fast food chains. New foreign restaurants keep opening as well.

HONG KONG
Food
A bit bland, gelatinous, overly sweet, and overpriced. You know what becomes of Chinese food in America after you've refrigerated it for a few days? How it becomes a gloopy, gelatinous mess? Yes? Well, that's a pretty good approximation in my opinion of local Hong Kong cuisine. Gross. However, to it's credit, Hong Kong is a true foodie city and you can readily find cuisine from just about every corner of the globe: Spanish, Turkish, Kosher, Indian, Thai, British, Swedish, Mongolian, Nepalese, etc.

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Anyhow, Erasing the Sun is now back in commission! Huzzah! Look forward to new posts a few times a week. It's good to be back!

The Web Behind Bars: Attack of the Censors! (Pt.2)

You can now add Flickr to the growing list of websites that China has blocked in the past few weeks. Actually, I can access the Flickr website itself, but I can't see any photos (which makes the website pointless) because the server that hosts photos is what has been blocked. Photographers are a rowdy bunch, and my fellow photo enthusiasts who live in China and use Flickr are furious about the block.

Fortunately for us, an industrious Iranian photographer, who found himself blocked from Flickr in his home country, designed an awesome Firefox extension that seamlessly shatters any block on Flickr images. It works like a charm and I can once again browse and post photos! This all further proves my point that trying to restrict information on the web is a futile exercise.

As a teacher, the most frustrating thing for me about internet censorship in China is that it often prevents me from accessing teaching materials for my students. This week I was blocked from downloading pictures of American teenagers for a lesson on American high school customs and slang. The Communist party claims that they want to open China to the world in preparation for the Olympics and for the country's further economic development. And, to this end, every year thousands of foreigners journey to China to teach English and to share their knowledge and culture with eager Chinese students. Yet, the government doesn't acknowledge that opening yourself to the world and learning from other cultures, necessarily requires a free and uninhibited exchange of information. You can't learn much from others if you don't believe in intellectual freedom and allowing access to information. The communist party has taken an intractable position here by saying, "We want our country to learn from the world and to improve. But, you can only learn what we deem permissible." How, I ask, is that learning at all?

If you're wondering whether or not a specific website is being blocked by the government in China you can check out the awesome website www.greatfirewallofchina.org/, which, appropriately enough, is itself being blocked in China. And yes, for those of you wondering, my blog is still blocked in China... I'm honored?

I leave you with this excellent picture taken by my friend, and fellow volunteer teacher, Lance. I feel it pretty accurately expresses the political and intellectual climate in China at present.

Attack of the Censors!

Sorry again for the time it's been since I last posted an entry, but, this time, I'm not totally to blame. The powers that be in China--most likely some Communist party lapdog who can hardly speak English, is greatly overpaid and has no idea what he is doing-- have once again decided to restrict access to my blog. I wish I could tell you why they've done this, but honestly I have no idea. I haven't posted anything recently that is even remotely controversial. But, trying to figure out the logic of the Communist party in matters of what speech they ban is tantamount to trying to decipher why people care about Paris Hilton. It simply makes no sense.

The Chinese government has a constant internet block of Wikepedia and and BBC news. Meanwhile, the NYtimes, which routinely feature stories critical of the Chinese government, has never been blocked while I've lived here. My friend Vivienne in Shanghai was recently infuriated when her LiveJournal blog was blocked. I certainly feel her pain. The great thing about the internet though, is that there is simply no way to block all access to any site or information without completely restricting access to the web. If people want to know something, and or access a site, they will find a way. There is always a backdoor, and with a little digging and internet sleuthing it isn't so difficult to circumnavigate a block. After all, I am posting right now to my "blocked" blog. Of course, I'm also crossing my fingers that I'll continue to find ways to do so.

And, on that note, I'll leave you with some promised pictures of the week. I shot the following pictures at a flower market during my recent trip to Hong Kong about a month ago. Enjoy!