The Scandalous Saga of the Grass-Mud Horse

The New York Times featured an excellent article last week about an Internet meme sweeping across mainland China: the grass-mud horse!

Videos of this mythical creature (in most videos it's simply a llama) have become incredibly popular in China and everyone from intellectuals to artists are discussing the subject and making their own tributes.

So what gives? Why is anyone enthralled by a horse-like, llama-wannabe? And, why is it muddy?

You see, in Mandarin Chinese, grass-mud horse (草泥马) is pronounced almost exactly the same as the phrase, "Fuck your mother!"

Think of the words "sea" and "see" in English. They're pronounced the same, but they have totally different meanings and spellings. In Mandarin, grass-mud horse sounds similar to the foulest of curses when uttered aloud, but it's actual meaning, and the characters used to write it, are benign.

Because Chinese is a tonal language, there are countless chances to mess up the meaning of a word simply by changing the tone at which it is pronounced. In fact, there are whole comedy routines, known as cross-talk, built around this fact. It's like Abott and Costello's "Who's on first?" routine, except in Chinese.

But, the grass-mud horse hasn't become a phenomenon solely due to it's comedic value. Like most great comedy, this joke has an edge.

According to the NY Times,

"The grass-mud horse is an example of something that, in China’s authoritarian system, passes as subversive behavior. Conceived as an impish protest against censorship, the foul-named little horse has not merely made government censors look ridiculous, although it has surely done that.It has also raised real questions about China’s ability to stanch the flow of information over the Internet — a project on which the Chinese government already has expended untold riches, and written countless software algorithms to weed deviant thought from the world’s largest cyber-community."

"Xiao Qiang, an adjunct professor of journalism at the University of California, Berkeley, said that the grass-mud horse is an icon of resistance to censorship."

Subversion and llamas all in one? Well done Chinese Internet crawlers!

Want to bypass web censors? Easy! Just hide behind cute animals, singing and dancing!



The infectious music of the grass-mud song actually comes from the Chinese version of the Smurfs!

If any of this seems familiar, maybe it's because you've heard the latest Britney Spears' song in which she pulls the exact same shenanigans! The song is officially titled "If you seek Amy," but Spears, the confused little trollop she is, pronounces the line so that it sounds like, "F-U-C-K me!"

I wonder if she learned this trickery from the Chinese?

Attack of the Panda Police!

Brace yourself readers, for what follows is the sordid tale of a group of nutty people channeling their love of cuddly animals into unmitigated rage and ridiculousness.

If you think Anne Coulter is angry and crazy, just wait until you read below...

It all began innocently enough with a trip to the Chengdu Panda Breeding and Research Center in the Sichuan province of China. I visited the center in the summer of 2006 with my friend, and fellow WorldTeach volunteer, Mary Claire. Apparently we picked a really good day for our trip because the park was nearly empty when we arrived. We had the chance to hold and feed red pandas (I think it cost us RMB 50 each) and we were also able to get really close to a number of giant pandas. It was a magical day and I was thrilled I had the opportunity to witness such rare and endangered animals up close and personal in their home country.

I was able to take some great photographs during the trip, which I subsequently posted on Flickr...

And, that, dear blog readers, is where the trouble began.

I uploaded nine photos from the trip, including three closeup shots of China's national emblem, the giant panda. Without much thought, I wrote satirical captions on two of the panda photos (big mistake). The photos appear below with their original titles and captions.
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Pickled Pandas Preserved panda cubs at the Chengdu panda preserve. Delicious...I mean, cute... I don't know what I mean.

(The above comment wasn't meant to suggest that I'd ever consider eating a panda, or any other endangered species for that matter, but rather, I was poking fun at the fact that the Chinese will eat almost every animal alive, and every part of every animal. You name it, the Chinese probably eat it. Deer blood. Dog paws. Snake gallbladders. Yak Penis. Turtle Shell. Chicken feet. Sheep fetuses. They eat it all. In fact, there is a Chinese saying that, “The Chinese eat everything with four legs, except tables — and everything that flies except airplanes.” And cute? Well, baby pandas definitely rank amongst the cutest animals alive, but when pickled in formaldehyde and put in display jars? Ehhhhhh, not so much.)

Abott and Costello: The Pandas

I think the look on the face of the panda to the right proves without a doubt that pandas are the dumbest animals alive. This photo is therefor dedicated to every panda who wouldn't screw to save his species.

(Ok, this caption is less defensible, but the look on the panda's face to the right just cracks me up. The line about pandas not screwing to save their species is from Fight Club. Do I really think pandas are unintelligent? No I don't, and I didn't assume people would take my comments so seriously. But, in any case, that panda just looks DUMB.)
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The craziness began within hours of me posting the photos. The pics started racking up a huge number of views and panda fanatics from everywhere seemed to be drawn to my photos like...well, like pandas would be drawn to to crack-covered bamboo. To this day "Pickled Pandas" remains my most-viewed Flickr photo, with over 6,700 individual views as I write this.

But, these panda fiends weren't content just looking at my pics. Oh no. They were incensed and enraged by my captions and they were determined to unleash their furry fury on me in comment form. A bunch of them wrote lengthy passages extolling the virtues of giant pandas under my pictures, and some of them just hurled insults. Nearly all of them engaged in gross anthropormorphism. Someone from the Flickr group Pandas Unlimited even started a comment thread directing people toward my pandas pics and telling them to leave nasty comments. Hmmm...now that doesn't seem very cuddly.

Some of the more choice comments appear below.

buttercake56 Says:
anyone who would take and post a photo like this is NOT A HUMAN BEING

RosieTheRiveter Says:
You are sick.

sbkap Says:
I have never seen anything as terrible as this--you should be ashamed!

kitchan86 Says:
I cannot believe you use "CUTE" for this pictures, instead it is sad to lose panda cubs.

donnapandabear Says:
What an awful attitude you have. I worry about anyone who would joke about eating these their upper bodies look like human babies from the back.

hantu2008 Says:
Pandas are china national treasure. You can get death sentence for trading pandas.

Unka Bobby Says:
Zach, you are a freak, and probably should be eaten by an adult panda.

TAIwiffic Says:
Look up the word sociopath. I think you'll find your picture next to the definition.
A pox on you, buddy!

babyricoy Says:
you are a horrible man.So far I already meet and guess what... I HATE YOU! by the way you look ugly.You should not show your face in public

newnham25@btopenworld.com Says:
whoever done that will die as a dead man and burn and not to forget pickeled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ann's wild animals Says:
Pandas are the most intelligent animals and yes , their maternal instincts are far better than most humans . They would do anything to protect their young , in ways you couldn't even imagine !
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Interestingly enough, most of the commentators were American, and they seemed to have little or no interest in, or knowledge of, China. To me, that's like being in love with koalas but thinking that they're native to Oklahoma. And, to top it all off, most of angry posters' Flickr pages feature nothing but pictures of pandas... Thousands upon thousands of panda pictures. Seriously. Check it out if you don't believe me.

At first I was honored that my photos were garnering so much attention. I played along for a bit and did some panda-baiting by leaving combative replies to some of the comments. But, after a while, it just got old. And then, it got creepy. As seen above, I was essentially receiving threats of being pickled and people stooped so low as to call me ugly. Tsk tsk.

Tired of the nonsense, I eventually removed the "offensive" captions. In any case, I learned a valuable lesson from this little saga: The panda police are always on patrol and they will attack at the slightest provocation!

Consider yourself warned.

Creepy Advertising

Take a good look at that girl's face. Wow. She looks like the demonic lovechild of Sarah Palin and Mao Ze Dong.

I saw this billboard in an alleyway in a busy section of Changsha in the Hunan province in the winter of 2008. First, it's interesting to note that this sign is completely and wholly in English, because honestly, almost no one speaks English in Changsha. I think this is the only sign I've EVER seen in Changsha that doesn't have Chinese writing.

Is this really supposed to entice people to visit Watsons? Personally, I'm just scared.

Fruity Sex!

Sometimes sex is just so bland! So, for those looking to integrate a little fruit into their love lives, Durex brings you these wonderful "Limited Edition: Lychee flavoured condoms"! (Note the British spelling of flavored.)

I found these condoms at a 7-11 in Hong Kong in late 2007. For those looking for a little zing in their lives, these are sure to fulfill your longing for both fruit and nookie!

I'm still looking for durian-flavored prophylactics to make a wonderfully disgusting condom fruit salad.

The Frigid Chill of China

Last year, Southern China experienced the worst winter in about 50 years. Temperatures dropped below freezing for weeks on end, and areas that usually go years without ever seeing a single snowflake were buried under mountains of frozen destruction. My former home of Changsha, as well as the rest of Hunan, was hit particularly hard and was brought to a virtual standstill.

To provide some perspective on the wintry chaos, I wrote an op-ed/features article about my experience living thorough a winter in China and sent it off to a number of American newspapers. I got a bit of hometown love when the Denver Post, one of Colorado's two main newspapers (and one of the top 50 largest papers in the USA by terms of circulation), published my piece online. Yay!

You can take a peek at the story on the Denver Post's website here.

The full text of the article also appears below. (A brief gripe... I don't really like the headline the Post gave to the story, "Winter Weather in a Chinese Classroom." Boring! Come on guys, you can do better.)
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Winter Weather in a Chinese Classroom
Originally published March 6, 2008

Hunan, China - Huang Zhiping was tired of being cold. His head buzzed, his ears stung, and his hands were too numb to take notes. So he took out a lighter and did what any other frozen 11-year-old would do: He lit a fire inside of his school desk. As his teacher, I suppose I should have been angry with him, but actually, lighting a fire seemed like a pretty good idea to me.

Welcome to winter in Hunan, China.

In the past month, southern China was brought to a standstill by a frozen maelstrom of snow and ice. Hunan province was the worst hit in all of China, and temperatures there were the coldest they'd been in nearly 50 years.

Transportation came to a virtual standstill, blackouts became routine, and homes were collapsing beneath piles of snow. There were hundreds of thousands of stranded people trying to get home to their families on the eve of Chinese New Year, one of the most important holidays in China.

I spent the past year as a volunteer teacher in Hunan. And, while Hunan had a relatively mild winter last year, it was nearly unbearable for me. I'm not some neophyte to the world of cold. Far from it. I grew up right in the Mile High City of Denver and spent my winters skiing in Aspen and Vail.

Later, I went to college outside of Boston and once got frostbite on my cheeks while walking to class. Yet, nothing prepared me for a Chinese winter.

In Hunan, a province far from the watchful eye of Beijing, indoor heating, or even building insulation, is nonexistent. The buildings are all made of poured concrete because it's cheap and quick.

The downside, of course, is that concrete traps heat in the summer and retains cold in the winter. (Think of stepping barefoot onto the sidewalk in the wintertime.) Imagine a place where there is no escape, no respite, from the cold.

During winter, the inside of a concrete building is often colder than the outside. You might as well be outside during the coldest months of the year in Hunan, because chances are, it's slightly warmer than indoors.

The Hunanese are extremely resilient to the cold because of these conditions. What I thought of as unimaginable chill — sleeping with three blankets while at the same time wearing my winter hat and ski jacket for example — they shrug off as a fact of life.

They have dozens of quirky ways to keep warm, everything from eating dog (a "winter meat" because it supposedly it warms your body), to wearing furry shoe insoles that are sold on street corners for the equivalent of $.25.

I stopped complaining to my Chinese friends about how cold I was after a while, because I realized they thought I was nuts for saying anything.

Classrooms, just like most places in Hunan, are unheated. I can still clearly remember teaching dressed as if I were headed for a day on the slopes: long johns, thermal socks, boots, snowboarding jacket, hat, gloves, pocket warmer.

My students were dressed similarly, and some of them were so bundled up that they virtually disappeared beneath masses of brightly colored winter gear. As I tried my best to teach English under these conditions, I marveled at how nonchalant the students seemed. They were used to cold that I had never imagined, and they sat there in that freezing room eager and ready to learn.

While the cold-induced chaos in China made international headlines, I'm certain that my friends and former students in Hunan toughed it out with their usual hardy resolve.

Undoubtedly, they went about their day-to-day business and did their best to prepare for the coldest Chinese New Year they have ever known. When all the snow melts and the temperature rises above sub-arctic, Hunan, and the rest of China, will surely recover from this deep freeze.

And, wherever Huang Zhiping is, I'm sure he's making the best possible use of the frozen desk in front of him.

Return of the Blogger

Welcome back to Erasing the Sun! No longer defunct!

It's been approximately 593 days since my last blog post... Yes, I am ashamed. Do I have an amazing excuse? Was I kidnapped and locked in a panda-guarded cave? Was I in a coma after surviving a yodel-induced avalanche in Nepal? Did I suffer amnesia after a boxing match with Mao's reanimated corpse? Was I following the silk road in a vain search for cotton? ... I'll let you decide.

A lot has changed since my last post. The biggest change is that I moved from Changsha, Hunan, to Hong Kong. So, while I'm still living in the South of China, in reality I'm living in a different world. I have trouble remembering exactly what I knew or thought about Hong Kong before moving to China, but suffice it to say, I probably had some misconceptions.

While Hong Kong is certainly a part of China, it is administered by a separate government. The mainland government refers to this arrangement as, "One country. Two systems." This arrangement stems from the fact that Hong Kong was a British-held territory for most of it's history, and only fell back under Chinese rule in 1997. Because of this reason, Hong Kong escaped much of the trauma experienced by the mainland in the past century. In Hong Kong, there was no civil war, no great leap forward, no cultural revolution, no Mao Ze Dong, and no Tiananmen.

Without these events, Hong Kong emerged as an incredibly distinct place from mainland China. Hong Kong is now by far the most westernized and developed place in all of China -- though a few places in the mainland are quickly catching up. Hong Kong is extremely affluent and its citizens enjoy a high standard of life, a free press, elections for most governments posts, rule of law and an accountable justice system based on British law, quality westernized medical care, and clean drinking water (I've been drinking it anyhow...). This isn't to say that Hong Kong is entirely a rosy colored place. The city has its fair share of problems including a shocking income gap and wealth disparity, poverty, rising unemployment, unaffordable housing, and some laws and regulations that can only be described as flagrantly racist.


So, just how different are Hong Kong and Changsha you ask? Please refer to the handy guide below.

CHANGSHA
Culture
Mostly Eastern, with a random odd thing from the West picked up by younger generations. Pastimes include karaoke, eating at hot pot or street restaurants with friends, spending time with the family, and studying.

HONG KONG
Culture
A blend of East and West. Hong Kong is best described as a combination of Shanghai, London, and NYC tossed into a blender and mixed on the highest setting. Zdddreeerrrrzzzrrrrrrrrr... Hong Kong! To be fair though, Chinese culture often plays a larger role in Hong Kong than elements from western culture. (Not that there is even such a thing as "western culture") Pastimes for young people include shopping, going to movies, spending time with the family, and making money.

CHANGSHA
Housing
My school provided me with two one bedroom apartments, one in the city and one in the countryside, completely free of charge. My city home was roughly 700 square feet, complete with a living room, sun room, futon, washing machine, TV, computer, and assorted nicknacks such as a wok and an old copy of Maxim (presumably left behind by the previous occupant).

HONG KONG
Housing
I had to find my own place to live in Hong Kong. It was quite an exhausting process involving visiting scores of realtors and looking at dozens of apartment. It took about one month of intense searching to find something I was happy with. I actually found a great apartment early in my search but the landlord refused to rent it to me because I wasn't Chinese. I finally settled on a tiny studio apartment that is more expensive than the apartment I once rented in San Diego, one of America's most expensive cities. My Hong Kong apartment is roughly 150 square feet. When I moved in it was unfurnished except for a refrigerator and built-in cabinets. It has a kitchen/shower/toilet combination that is smaller than an airplane restroom. I can literally cook,take a leak and shower at the same time... not that I would ever do such a thing. Still, I like my place. It's cozy and it's nice to have a space all to myself.

CHANGSHA
Cost of living in US Dollars
Bottle of water - $0.12
Bottle of beer purchased at a convenience store - $0.50
Average dinner including drinks - $1.50-$6.50
Dinner for two, including drinks, at the nicest restaurant in town - $50
Average taxi ride - $1.50
Pirated DVD - $0.80
Deodorant - Unavailable

HONG KONG
Cost of living in US Dollars
Bottle of water - $1-3
Bottle of beer purchased at a convenience store - $1-4
Average dinner including drinks - $25-40
Dinner for two, including drinks, at the nicest restaurant in town - $1,000-2,000
Average taxi ride - $9
Pirated DVD - $4
Deodorant - $4

CHANGSHA
Language
Mandarin and the local dialect of Mandarin, Changsha hua. Imagine a drunken Tasmanian Devil trying to speak Chinese and you'll have a rough estimate of what Changsha hua sounds like. Chinglish runs rampant when English is spoken. Signs are nearly all in simplified Chinese.

HONG KONG
Language
A nearly trilingual society. Cantonese is the main language spoken, but most people speak damn good English and Mandarin as well. It's difficult to study Chinese here because it's so easy to speak English. Chinglish is still popular, though less so than in the Mainland. Signs are in traditional Chinese and English.

CHANGSHA
Media
State controlled and censored. Things critical of the Chinese government as well as anything deemed "pornographic" are banned. The web is censored. Japan is often demonized in the press. Journalists are often jailed for doing their jobs. Taboo subjects, including the "three Ts", are forbidden.

HONG KONG
Media
Free and unrestricted press...except for news stories about triad gangs, which are barred from publication. No web censorship. Mainland China, especially the government, is sometimes demonized in the press. Pornography and prostitution are both legal. The only taboo subject is triad gangs.

CHANGSHA
Food
Incredibly spicy, incredibly cheap and incredibly delicious. That said, sanitation and refrigeration standards are lacking. Meat and eggs are often kept unrefrigerated. Basically, I had stomach troubles for the entire year I lived in Hunan, as did most of my friends...including my local Changsha friends. Food-caused illnesses are endemic. Foreign cuisine is hard to come by, although there is a single Italian restaurant, a few Korean and Japanese restaurants and a ton of American fast food chains. New foreign restaurants keep opening as well.

HONG KONG
Food
A bit bland, gelatinous, overly sweet, and overpriced. You know what becomes of Chinese food in America after you've refrigerated it for a few days? How it becomes a gloopy, gelatinous mess? Yes? Well, that's a pretty good approximation in my opinion of local Hong Kong cuisine. Gross. However, to it's credit, Hong Kong is a true foodie city and you can readily find cuisine from just about every corner of the globe: Spanish, Turkish, Kosher, Indian, Thai, British, Swedish, Mongolian, Nepalese, etc.

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Anyhow, Erasing the Sun is now back in commission! Huzzah! Look forward to new posts a few times a week. It's good to be back!

Deadly Sassy

China is well on its way in the march toward modernization and... increased fashion consciousness?

During the ten year anniversary celebration of Hong Kong reverting to Chinese rule this week, China officially unveiled snappy new uniforms for the People's Liberation Army (PLA), the largest standing military force in the world (2.3 million members strong). If you've ever been to China, or if you've seen pictures taken around crowded areas like Tiananmen Square, you've no doubt seen scores of soldiers clad in loose-fitting olive green uniforms. Apparently, the old uniforms only came in one size and one style--ill-fitting and ugly. But, those days are now gone, because Dog forbid a Chinese soldier ever look dowdy on the battle field!

Amidst growing domestic and international concern over food and medicine safety, slave labor, and pollution, the Chinese government has shown where its true priorities lie by spending millions of dollars to reinvent and refashion the aesthetic appeal of their military. The new uniforms will be color-coordinated, tighter fitting, and will be all around more sexy. Nothing strikes more fear in the heart of enemies than sexy soldiers, right?

In discussing the new duds, a government spokesman noted that the female uniform has been refashioned to look, and I quote, "sassier." This translates into tighter waistlines and, by far my favorite revision, higher heels. Yes, that's right, not only are female soldiers expected to perform their duties in heels, but those heels will now be 5 centimeters high. (For those of you who are metric-scale-challenged, that converts into about 2 inches.) After all, if you're going to be kicking ass, you might as well be doing so in high heels. Everyone knows that the best fighters in the world are supermodels and fashionistas.



<----A newly enlisted PLA recruit

Lost in a Mysterious Bamboo Forest...

Deep in the heart of China, a young and dashing American (yours truly), along with his beautiful Chinese girlfriend (Dai Li), find themselves lost in a mysterious bamboo forest in Yi Yang, Hunan. Luckily, someone sent our intrepid explorers a text message, guiding them back to civilization...

A few months ago, Dai Li and I took a day-trip a few hours outside of Changsha to explore a bamboo forest in a small town called Yi Yang. Upon reaching the edge of the forest we wandered for maybe ten minutes before we found ourselves lost deep amongst the bamboo, engulfed in shadows, and surrounded by the whispers of ancient China. There was bamboo in every direction, as far as the eye could see. Stalks as thick as my legs shot up hundreds of feet in the air. A faint smell of dew, and the nearly inaudible sound of beetles and spiders scurrying amongst the thin leaves, toyed playfully with our senses. This is the China I had always envisioned while living in the states. It was stunning. Yet sadly, there were no kung fu battles or rampaging pandas in this forest. I guess you can't win them all...

China and the "Black Man" (Pt. 2)

I've been receiving a lot of hits and feedback on my "China and the Black Man" post, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to better explain some things I said and to point out some new things as well. (For those of you who didn't read the original post, I talked about a popular toothpaste in China that was originally named "Darkie" and whose logo looks like a man in black face. China, I reasoned, needs to be more racially aware and sensitive, especially as it opens to the world and prepares for the Olympics. In any case, I recommend you read the first post it if you haven't already.)

Firstly, I should clarify that during my first few months in China, when I heard the word "niga" being spoken in Mandarin, the reason I was shocked was due to my own cultural and linguistic ignorance and also because of my connection to a country in which a similar sounding word, "nigger", is a a hateful and racist term. The fact that a completely innocuous word in a foreign language could cause such a reaction in me, especially when I didn't have any idea what the word meant, only proves how deeply ingrained issues of race are in the American consciousness. This misperception on my part says absolutely nothing about Chinese people, the Mandarin language, or about China as a whole.

A Chinese person commented on my original post that the term 黑鬼 (hei gui, literally "black devil") is the Mandarin equivalent of the English word "nigger". This is wrong, and actually, it couldn't be further from the truth. The phrase hei gui in Mandarin essentially means a bad, corrupt, or evil black person. While this certainly isn't a nice thing to call someone, it also doesn't carry any racist undertones. The Chinese have had very little contact with black people during their country's long history and thusly, they don't have many stereotypes or prejudices that are black specific. If you ask a modern day Chinese person to candidly tell you what they think of black people they'll probably say the following, "They all come from Africa and they all play basketball well." Not exactly PC or informed, but hardly bigoted.

Additionally, the term hei gui isn't reserved for black people alone and is sometimes used to describe bad people of different ethnicities. My Chinese teacher, Huang Laoshi, describes the ticket scalpers who lurk around train stations as hei gui even though they are in fact Chinese. The term hei gui is also interchangeable with the phrase hei xin, meaning black heart, which is similarly devoid of racial underpinnings. The person who commented on my original post went on to list some country specific insults like 俄国老毛子, meaning a Russian devil . He noted that these terms, including hei gui, are often said lightly, and, I assume, without hate. In fact, he called these terms nicknames.

The only Mandarin phrase I know of that is hateful and racist the way in which the N-word is, is the final term the commenter listed, 日本鬼子, meaning a Japanese devil. In fact, the commenter said that this phrase isn't a nickname, although he didn't elaborate further. There is a lot of anti-Japanese sentiment in China (which I will discuss later), and with this sentiment comes deep seated hatred that in some ways parallels racial tensions in America. Yet, to assume that a term like hei gui has a similar meaning to the word "nigger", is to make a big leap. In some ways, making this assumption is choosing a willful ignorance that permits or justifies the usage of American-bred racist jargon and imagery without understanding the real implications of doing so. After all, it's just a nickname, right?

There is no equivalent or synonymous word in Mandarin that means anything close to what the word "nigger" implies in English. There simply couldn't be. China was never involved in the African slave trade, and the Chinese never enslaved, debased, or dehumanized Africans on their soil. And therefor, the Mandarin language doesn't have any word that carries the hatred toward blacks that is contained within the N-word. In English, the word "nigger" doesn't simply mean a bad black person, instead, the word carries with it the loaded connotations and history of a land embroiled in the systemic subjugation and degradation of an entire people. It is a word that was created on the broken backs and shattered hearts of a people torn from their homes; a word that devalues another human as property to be owned and used; a word that says that those with darker skin are inherently lessor and without souls. It is a word that carries with it the tears, losses and victories of the civil rights movement in America. It is a word that, to this day in America, has the power to cause hurt and suffering greater than any knife can inflict. The legacy and usage of the N-word is entirely America's burden to bear and there is no single word in Mandarin that means anything similar.

If nothing else, my original post was a plea for Chinese people to try to be more sensitive toward racial differences and to look outside their own experiences and history to understand why the usage of racist iconography for product marketing like Darlie toothpaste is wrong and immoral. I wouldn't expect any Chinese person offhand to know why the term "darkie" or an image of a man in black face are so demeaning. But, I have a huge problem with any company or person who would willingly co-opt racist imagery from another country without first doing a little research to understand the history and potential impact of said imagery. One, that's a terrible business practice and is bound to cause a public relations blowout at some point, and two, it's a plainly immoral and irresponsible way to market a product. If you're going to borrow imagery from another country or culture, you should understand exactly what that imagery means. The makers of Darkie toothpaste apparently, and hopefully, didn't do that research and they ended up using a stereotyped and racist image and term for their product.

The name Darkie toothpaste was changed to "Darlie Toothpaste" in 1985 after the company was bought out by Colgate-Palmolive in 1985, and the incredibly offensive image on the package was downgraded to a less jarring image. However, to this day the image on the front of Darlie toothpaste appears to be Al Jolson in black face, and that is plainly inexcusable.

To help put this into perspective, imagine for a moment that an American company journeyed to Japan and borrowed a grossly stereotyped and offensive image of a Chinese woman (I don't actually know whether or not such imagery exists) and used this image on a product sold in America called "Comfort Women Panties." [A quick history lesson for those who don't know: During WWII, the Japanese invaded mainland China and forced thousands of Chinese women into prostitution to keep their troops happy as they tore through the land. Many of these women were mere teenagers when they were abducted, and they were treated like animals by the Japanese. They were repeatedly raped and gang-raped, tortured, and often killed after their bodies were wrecked by such abuses. Many of the Chinese women who survived this torture became sterile. The Japanese called these Chinese sex slaves their "comfort women."]

Trying to imagine the immoral usage of the term "comfort women" along with a racist image of a Chinese woman to market a product in America exposes just why Darlie toothpaste is so offensive. Chinese-Americans and Asian-Americans would never allow such a product to remain on the shelves, as well they shouldn't. The immorality wouldn't be lessoned if the company took a play from the Darlie handbook and changed the product name to "Comfortable Women Panties" but retained the racist image. It would still be inexcusable, racist, and a blight on American society. This is the closest parallel I can think of to compare Darlie toothpaste in China to a similar product in the west.

All I'm asking is for people, whether Chinese, American, black or white, to look outside of their own sphere and try to understand and empathize with others. This isn't being overly sensitive; it's being human and caring about your fellow man. Whether or not you can personally understand why an image or word has the power to harm, you should at least try to understand the pain and suffering it causes another. Is it really right to sell a product on the blood and tears of a people unlike yourself? I hope the answer for everyone is a resounding no.

The Web Behind Bars: Attack of the Censors! (Pt.2)

You can now add Flickr to the growing list of websites that China has blocked in the past few weeks. Actually, I can access the Flickr website itself, but I can't see any photos (which makes the website pointless) because the server that hosts photos is what has been blocked. Photographers are a rowdy bunch, and my fellow photo enthusiasts who live in China and use Flickr are furious about the block.

Fortunately for us, an industrious Iranian photographer, who found himself blocked from Flickr in his home country, designed an awesome Firefox extension that seamlessly shatters any block on Flickr images. It works like a charm and I can once again browse and post photos! This all further proves my point that trying to restrict information on the web is a futile exercise.

As a teacher, the most frustrating thing for me about internet censorship in China is that it often prevents me from accessing teaching materials for my students. This week I was blocked from downloading pictures of American teenagers for a lesson on American high school customs and slang. The Communist party claims that they want to open China to the world in preparation for the Olympics and for the country's further economic development. And, to this end, every year thousands of foreigners journey to China to teach English and to share their knowledge and culture with eager Chinese students. Yet, the government doesn't acknowledge that opening yourself to the world and learning from other cultures, necessarily requires a free and uninhibited exchange of information. You can't learn much from others if you don't believe in intellectual freedom and allowing access to information. The communist party has taken an intractable position here by saying, "We want our country to learn from the world and to improve. But, you can only learn what we deem permissible." How, I ask, is that learning at all?

If you're wondering whether or not a specific website is being blocked by the government in China you can check out the awesome website www.greatfirewallofchina.org/, which, appropriately enough, is itself being blocked in China. And yes, for those of you wondering, my blog is still blocked in China... I'm honored?

I leave you with this excellent picture taken by my friend, and fellow volunteer teacher, Lance. I feel it pretty accurately expresses the political and intellectual climate in China at present.

Attack of the Censors!

Sorry again for the time it's been since I last posted an entry, but, this time, I'm not totally to blame. The powers that be in China--most likely some Communist party lapdog who can hardly speak English, is greatly overpaid and has no idea what he is doing-- have once again decided to restrict access to my blog. I wish I could tell you why they've done this, but honestly I have no idea. I haven't posted anything recently that is even remotely controversial. But, trying to figure out the logic of the Communist party in matters of what speech they ban is tantamount to trying to decipher why people care about Paris Hilton. It simply makes no sense.

The Chinese government has a constant internet block of Wikepedia and and BBC news. Meanwhile, the NYtimes, which routinely feature stories critical of the Chinese government, has never been blocked while I've lived here. My friend Vivienne in Shanghai was recently infuriated when her LiveJournal blog was blocked. I certainly feel her pain. The great thing about the internet though, is that there is simply no way to block all access to any site or information without completely restricting access to the web. If people want to know something, and or access a site, they will find a way. There is always a backdoor, and with a little digging and internet sleuthing it isn't so difficult to circumnavigate a block. After all, I am posting right now to my "blocked" blog. Of course, I'm also crossing my fingers that I'll continue to find ways to do so.

And, on that note, I'll leave you with some promised pictures of the week. I shot the following pictures at a flower market during my recent trip to Hong Kong about a month ago. Enjoy!

Photos of the Week: Land of the Rising Sun

A quick thanks to my friends Joe and Emily for giving me the idea to post a "Photos of the week" blog. I'll try to add some new pics every weekend or so.

And, on that note, I finally finished posting the photos I took during my trip to Japan in February on my Flickr page. I know that I still owe you some blog postings about my trip to Japan (specifically, the differences I observed between Japan and China), so I'll try to work on those soon (don't hold your breathe). In the meantime, you'll just have to stand by and enjoy these pictures. As a preview, some of my favorite Japan photos are below. Enjoy!


I visited my college friend Brooke in a seaside city called Hamamatsu where she is teaching English with the JET program. I followed her to school one day to check out what high school in Japan is all about. This is one of Brooke's students practicing calligraphy at an English Corner Brooke organized.



I was lucky to catch some of the first cherry blossoms (sakura) of the season budding while I was in Japan. This picture was taken at a beautiful park in Hamamatsu.




Young students in Japan wear helmets when walking home to protect them in the event of an earthquake. No, I'm not kidding.






More cherry blossoms. This is probably my favorite picture I took while in Japan.







Me at a Buddhist shrine in Hamamatsu. These red gates are all over Japan, though I'm not exactly sure what they mean. Special thanks to Brooke for snapping this pic.

Boozin' in China

The most popular alcohol in China is a vile little concoction called “baijiu”. You know how sake, a rice-wine made in Japan, is imported to and enjoyed in America? Well, there is a good reason why no one on earth imports baijiu from China. Essentially, baijiu tastes like fermented orange peel spiked with horseradish and soaked in butane. No, baijiu does not taste of oranges--just the peel. Baijiu comes in a variety of colors and packages, all of them equally repugnant. It can range from two and a half kuai a bottle for the cheap stuff (about .30 American cents) to more than 300 kuai for the “good” stuff. It has about 40 percent alcohol, which puts it on par with vodka, though it gives a more wicked hangover.

One of the most popular ways to celebrate or commemorate something in China is by having a banquet. Most foreigners who come to China will be invited to numerous banquets. Treating a guest to a banquet in China is the ultimate display of hospitality. Besides eating, the main activity at these banquets is drinking baijiu, although it is perfectly fine to tell your hosts that you don’t drink and to refuse the stuff (you’ll also be offered cigarettes which you can also refuse). Those who are up to the challenge are poured a small glass full of baijiu (around two onces worth), which will be refilled by a person sitting next to them whenever it is emptied. You are supposed to wait until being toasted to drink, but it happens plenty often. Those partaking in a toast will stand, clink glasses, say “gan bei” (literally “empty cup”), and pound their drinks. It’s polite to give a toast from time to time even if you merely say thanks to everyone around. For many Chinese men, these banquets become a game to get their buddies tanked, and many banquets don't end until no one is left standing. This can take hours and go all night.

However, as a general rule of thumb, Chinese people can’t hold their liquor. Even those considered “big drinkers” in China can’t hold a candle to a decorated American bar warrior. After merely two or three drinks, many Chinese people develop a heavy “Asian glow”. At this point, their cheeks flush a rosy color and they begin to act considerably more abrasive, foolish, and loud, depending on the person. I’m sure there is a Chinese person somewhere out there who can hold his own while drinking, but I haven’t met him. The P.E. teacher at my school once challenged me to a drinking contest. This guy stands over six feet tall and weighs maybe 130 pounds on a good day while soaking wet and wearing a heavy coat. Nevertheless, I was excited for the contest. Sadly, after I told the teacher how much liqueur I drank on my 21st birthday in Las Vegas, he sheepishly bailed out of the contest. If you ever find yourself in a drinking match with a Chinese person I would suggest going easy on them so as to save them face and not give the impression that all foreigners are jiuguai (literally "alcohol demon", meaning alcoholic).

The most popular drink in the bars in Changsha is something I've dubbed "whisktea". It's a really weak mixture of whiskey and green tea over ice. It doesn’t taste half bad, but its also lacking in alcohol. I drink it. Smile. And then I find myself a real drink.

I've had terrible luck finding a descent cocktail in Hunan. They don’t exist. Some bars in Changsha offer “cocktails” on their menu but they are overpriced, poorly made, and watered down. I try to avoid them. The only place to get a real cocktail in China (i.e. a mojito, martini, margarita, etc.) is in one of the major cities like Hong Kong, Beijing and Shanghai. On the upside, I almost never have to buy a drink at a bar in Hunan. As a foreigner, the moment I enter the bar, I usually catch the eye of everyone nearby. Many Chinese people are happy to offer me drinks, whether or not they speak English, just for the pleasure/humor of drinking with a foreigner. That's right: Living in China brings you instant fame and instant free booze.

Dear Teacher Zach...

A few weeks ago, I was inspired by the note giver to create a lesson plan for my students revolving around them writing letters to me. I told my students that they should write me a letter about themselves and that could write anything they wanted and ask me any questions they wanted. I read them a brief example, and then gave them 20 minutes to work their magic.

The letters my students gave me were really amazing. Most of them followed a simple pattern to the tune of, "Dear Teacher Zach, My name is... I am 12 years old. I live in China. Your class is interesting. Will you be my friend?" But, some of the letters I got were really unique. They ranged from quirky, to interesting, to depressing, to ass-kissing, to laugh out loud funny. It was a very revealing week concerning the lives of my students and it was also one of my favorite lessons this year.

After working my way through a stack of nearly 1100 letters (picture on the left), I decided to share some of my favorites with you below. Note that I've left the letters in their original form and haven't corrected any grammar or spelling. However, I've added a few comments to the letters illustrating things that might not otherwise be apparent. The comments I've made appear in parenthetical statements and are italicized. When reading, remember that my students are pretty young and most of them haven't studied English for very long. Enjoy! (I know I did.)


Dear Teacher Zach:
Last week, I meet a boy. I'm really suprised, because he looks like my favorite boy friend. I found I love he. I think he is very cool and kindly. But he doesn't like me. he likes another girl. I'm very sad. I don't know why. Do you like a girl when you are a student?

Your friend.
Marcia

Dear Teather zach:
I like some fruit. The apples is my favorit fruit. How about you? I love you never!

Your student: Zhang Bo

Dear teacher Zarck:
My name is Trangle. I look like is (Whatever was written here was erased with whiteout). Maybe I can as an actor. My favorit sports is tennis and swim. How about you? I think maybe you like golf.
Can I ask you something? What girl's style do you like? The cute girls or the other. Haha! Maybe you can't answer.

Your Dear student: Xu YingDear

Teacher Zach.
My name's is Wang-Zhixiong. I am 13 years old. I have a red glasses. I have a short, straight black hair. I really like your class, because in your class, I feel so happy. I think you is a good teacher. In our school, I think anyone both like you! My favorite subject is English and P.E. They are fun! How about you? Do you like sports? What is your favorite sports and subject? And, what is your favorite color?

Your friend,
Wang Zhixiong :)

Dear Teacher Zach
I am a new student in the class. I think your class is very interesting, in your class we needn't write a lot of things and sometimes we can take games.
You say you are a volunteer. I think it is very cool. I will be a volunteer when I grow up

Your student
Liu Hao

Dear Zach,
My name is Addison. Can you give me so many money? I love money very much. Do you love me? I'm very interesting

Your's
Addison

Dear Teacher Zach,
First, I will say. I'm very happy to know you. I'm a student in class 15 (One of my most advanced classes). My Chinese name is Li Xinyi. and my English name is Lily. It's a very beautiful name from a flower.
I like English and watching movies. Do you like movies? My favorite movie is The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. I think it is a very good movie. Shakespeare is my favorite writer. (Wow, a student after my own heart.) I like he's book "King Lear". Do you know it. I holp you like Shakespeare.
At last. I holp you happy every day.

Your friend.
Lily.

Dear Teacher Zach,
My English name is Catherine. I'm very like your class, because it's fun, and not boring. The Tuo Fat is delicious, right? (Tou Fat is a Chinese popsicle-like thing made of small cubes of flavored gelatin and is sold at the school store. I love it and eat it nearly every day.) And the green tea is great! (I also drink a lot of bottled green tea.) I like you, because you are very handsome and kind.
I really like skating, how about you? I think, Chinese children are very buzy and tired. Are the American children like us?
I'll tell you a secret, I am very adore you!

Your friend,
Catherine

Dear Teacher zach,
My name is Tan zhe shu. I'm 12 years old. I'm from Changsha. In 1995, I come world. I like play football. My favorite movie is..., oh I don't have a favorite movie. I like green.

Tan zhe shu

Dear Teacher zach,
You is very cute, but hard have very freckles, and very muscular.
Frend zuo Quan

Dear Teacher Zach,
I am a girl in class 16. I have an English name that is Betty, and my Chinese name is------ (She wrote her name in Chinese characters here and I'm sad to say that I can't read it or reproduce it). I really love your class very much. I think you are interesting and a little cute. You beard is too long, you must cut (I had about a week's worth of stubble on my face at the time). Do you think so? If you cut your beard, it will make you more handsome. Um. this idea is perfect.
At last, I'll ask you some questions. Are you have a wife, if answer is "Yes", I hope you are all well. What kind of music do you like best? What class do you like best? Can you tell me the different in Chinese children and American children? Which one do you love?
Ok! This letter is so long. Bye-bye!

Your student
Betty

Dear Teacher Zach,
I'm from class 5, grade 7. You're also forget me, my name in Chinese is "xue ze ze", and in English is "Paul silver xystus". I think you are cool, I meet so many American teacher. but you are best of them. You are from America. I think America is a very very nice country, I want to go there, because my father is be gone there and take a photo and video, I want go there! And I like UK too! I like the movie of there--"Harry Potter", "Mr.Bean." Remeber me, zach! I'm in class 5, "Paul. silver. xystus." you can call me "paul".
Remeber me, Zach!! (Ok, I promise I won't forget Paul.)

Your friend--
paul. class 5.

Dear Mr. Zach,
Hello, my name is kelly, I am your student, I very like your teach way, we all like you.
Chinese students are very busy, they are study every day, every month, every year, and they have lots of homework and lots of classes. Saturday and Sunday they can't go ant play, they can only study in home, I think we are poor, we are all don't like teacher. Why don't we like teacher? Because they usually give us lost of homework and often don't like us, then, Why do we like you? Because you to us very good, and donte give us homework, so we are all like you.
By the way, we are all think you are handsome too!

your friend,
Kelly

Dear Zach,
I am your student in Class 16, Grade 7. my English name is Will hawkers. I'm the tallest boy in class! Can you remember? I want to be a judge. Because my father is a great judge. Even he's died. I want to be a judge. Work for people, work for country, work for justice! How about you? I want to know something about you.

Best wishes!
Your student: Will: Hawkers.

Dear Teacher Zach,
My name's Catherine. I'm a student in grade seven class fifteen. I like eating and sleeping very much. Maybe you think I'm very lazy. Yes, sometimes I'm very lazy, but sometimes I'm very hard. I'm a lazy and happy girl. I have two small eyes (I'm glad you aren't a Cyclops). And I have straight black hair.
My English marks are always very high. So I'm a good student. Do you like to be friends with me?

Your friend,
Catherine.

Dear Teacher zach
My name is Sue. I'm 12 years old, I like swim and play tennis. I like action movie- kiss of the dragon. I don't like carrot, Well, I look like is god, :) , I like black and white. (Yes, I suppose God does work in absolutes.)

Your friend Sue

Dear Teacher Zach,
My name is Davis. I'm 12 years old. My favorite country is Japan. Because I like Japan comic very much! I think Japanese are very kind and friendly. Japan is free, not like China. Japan's citys are clean. I like Japan's food, too. Do you like Japan? I like it very much! (Wow, this kid is a heretic. Most of my students HATE Japan and the Japanese.)

Your friend,
Davis.

Dear Teacher Zach,
My name is Lyle. I'm 13 years old. I like reading. reading is my favorite way to relax, I like reading at school, I like reading in the library and I like reading at school. As you can see, reading is a very important part of my life. I work hard at all my lessons. And I like English best. My dream is to be a English Teacher when I grow up. And I know it is not easy to learn English wear. There is a long way to go. But I work hard.

Your friend,
Lyle.

Dear Teacher Zach.
I am an outgoing boy. My name is Own. I am thirteen years old. I feel terrific lately. And how about you? How's everything going with you? Have you changed much? Or just gaining weight? (Ok, this student gets an F.) Tell me about your life. Thanks.

Your student, Owen

Dear Teacher Zach,
Do you like Chinese food? Do you like to have tea? Let me tell you something about tea. More than three hundred years ago most of the people in Europe did not know anything about tea. Once an English doctor came back from China for Christmas vacation. He gave his mother some tea as a gift...
Next, let me tell you something about myself. My name is Kobe. I'm 13. I'm from China. My parents is You Tai Ren (This is how you say "Jewish" in Chinese). If you believe me, you are a fool.

Your friend,
Kobe.

Dear Teacher Zach,
My name is Li Yang. My English name is Herakles-Advent-Isolated-Demon-Epic-Smith. (Best name EVER!) I'm 12 years old. I hate sports, so I'm a little fat. I don't like eating things which are bitter. I love Kentucky Fried Chicken. I want to be a diplomat when I grow up. Please write and tell me something about yourself soon.

Your friend,
Haides (Wow, yet another name.)

Dear Teacher Zach-
I'm Wang Monkey. I'm 14 years old. I like climbing the best. I like movie which is about monkey. I like bananas. I look like a handsome monkey. I like yellow best, because I like bananas.

Yours, Monkey.

China Blue

I just watched a tragic documentary called China Blue about the manufacture of jeans in Chinese factories by migrant workers. The documentary follows the life of Jasmine, a 16 year old girl from the Sichuan province, as she moves away from home to work in a jean manufacturing plant. She hopes to earn money to support her family, particularly her young sister. At the plant, she is forced to work 30 hour shifts without overtime, and she is only payed the equivalent of six cents an hour. She toils day after day with monotonous work and squalid living conditions. Her bosses even withhold her pay for nearly two months at one point with no explanation. After merely seven weeks on the job she transforms from a young, vibrant child into a bitter and hopeless automaton. Such is the life of a factory worker in Modern China.

The film is a stunning condemnation of our consumerist culture in the West and our exploitation of cheap overseas labor. The film also lays blame on the Chinese system which allows for such abuses to be doled out upon millions of its young workers. It's a must see film and after watching it you'll have a lot of trouble buying a new pair of designer jeans with a clean conscience. You can watch a brief preview below.

V for Videos

Hey all,

Exciting news in blog world: I've begun to add my China videos to YouTube! I shoot these videos with my two-year old, 3.1 megapixel digital camera, so please forgive me if they aren't Oscar quality. Hopefully you'll find some of them amusing and or enlightening. The videos offer a pretty good look at the sights and sounds of my daily life. You can link to my YouTube page on the right hand side of this blog or simply by clicking here.

Here is a little preview to wet your appetite... This is a funny clip of one of my 7th grade classes doing facial exercises before the start of class. One of my students informed me that they do these to prevent their vision from going bad...The sound you hear is a prerecorded count down in Chinese that plays over the school's PA system.

Kindergarten Combat

*This blog was written November 8th, 2006*

I teach at a campus about 30 minutes outside of the city of Changsha. So, everyday day I take a bus to and from the school. Today, at the end of the day as I was walking across my campus on the way to the bus to go home, I noticed a small group of students standing in a circle and shouting about something. I couldn't quite see what was going on, so I walked closer to investigate. As I approached, the students stepped aside to reveal a scene straight out of a kungfu movie. Only, this grisly movie was being acted out by kids who couldn't have been older than third graders.

It was a fight; a really rough fight. I watched, horrified and shocked, as I saw two pint-sized students engaged in mortal combat. It was brutal. There was eye-gouging, choking, and even kicks to the head.

I ran over and pulled the two of them apart just as one was digging his fingers into the other's eye socket. They were both panting heavily, but once I stepped in they seemed to calm down. For my part, I felt lucky that these kids were less than half my size and that I could so easily stop them. After I separated them, they remained silent as I held them arms-length from one another, but there was fire burning in their eyes.

Luckily, they both came out of the scrape in pretty good condition. One of them had a bloody nose and the other's shirt was torn, but these certainly weren't life-threatening wounds. I asked them to apologize in English, but they didn't understand. I asked again in Chinese, but they still remained silent. I really wanted them to make nice, but clearly it wasn't going to happen. Feeling slightly defeated, slightly awed, and mostly feeling disturbed, I called a Chinese teacher over to clean up the scene and I ran to catch my bus.

Oh China... Land of mortal kindergarten combat.

Quentin Tarantino Messes Up

No one doubts that American filmmaker Quentin Tarantino is a cinematic prodigy. You'd be hard pressed to find an auteur who has as much love and respect for the silver screen as he does. Usually his movies are overflowing with obscure cinematic references and tributes. This man does his homework and generally doesn't make mistakes. But, while watching Kill Bill 2 this weekend with my dearest Dai Li, I found that the golden man of pulp cinema isn't as infallible as he seems.

At the beginning of the awesome scene "The Cruel Tutelage of Pai Mei", the scene in which Beatrix Kiddo goes to the Sichuan province in China to study with a kung fu master, Dai Li yells, "Hey! They don't speak Guangdong hua in Sichuan!" She was right, Pai Mai wasn't speaking Mandarin, he was speaking Cantonese (called Guangdong hua in Mandarin), which also explains why I couldn't understand much of what was being said. In fact, the actor playing Pai Mai, Chia Hui Liu, is from Hong Kong where most people speak Cantonese rather than Mandarin. I assume that while Chia probably speaks a bit of Mandarin, Tarantino had him speak his native tongue so he wouldn't butcher the pronunciation. Still, the Chinese person I was watching the movie with didn't buy this, and neither do I.Mandarin Speaking Skills: 1, Tarantino's Film Veracity: 0