During the ten year anniversary celebration of Hong Kong reverting to Chinese rule this week, China officially unveiled snappy new uniforms for the People's Liberation Army (PLA), the largest standing military force in the world (2.3 million members strong). If you've ever been to China, or if you've seen pictures taken around crowded areas like Tiananmen Square, you've no doubt seen scores of soldiers clad in loose-fitting olive green uniforms. Apparently, the old uniforms only came in one size and one style--ill-fitting and ugly. But, those days are now gone, because Dog forbid a Chinese soldier ever look dowdy on the battle field!
Amidst growing domestic and international concern over food and medicine safety, slave labor, and pollution, the Chinese government has shown where its true priorities lie by spending millions of dollars to reinvent and refashion the aesthetic appeal of their military. The new uniforms will be color-coordinated, tighter fitting, and will be all around more sexy. Nothing strikes more fear in the heart of enemies than sexy soldiers, right?
In discussing the new duds, a government spokesman noted that the female uniform has been refashioned to look, and I quote, "sassier." This translates into tighter waistlines and, by far my favorite revision, higher heels. Yes, that's right, not only are female soldiers expected to perform their duties in heels, but those heels will now be 5 centimeters high. (For those of you who are metric-scale-challenged, that converts into about 2 inches.) After all, if you're going to be kicking ass, you might as well be doing so in high heels. Everyone knows that the best fighters in the world are supermodels and fashionistas.
<----A newly enlisted PLA recruit
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1 comments:
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